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Why does my boyfriend watch porn instead of having sex with me?

By Anonymous June 24, 2010 - 6:40am
 
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We have been together almost a year now, when we first got together we couldnt keep our hands off each other and I still feel that way but since I got pregnant and we moved in together we barely ever have sex maybe once a week if im lucky and im pretty sure i only get it then because he knows i get sad easy i am 6 months pregnant! I found out he watches porn most mornings after I go to work and that really hurts me im carrying his child i want him to want me like i want him, not to want porn over me that makes me feel fat and ugly and useless and im not fat ugly or useless so why does porn interest him more than i do ? and i understand men are visualbut that doesnt seem to matter to him ill put on my skimpiest clothes and underwear but he barely notices i could be naked and he'd barely notice we go to bed and i present myself open and he doesnt notice he doesnt even show me the slighest bit of affection anymore in or outta the bedroom we pretty much dont even say i love you anymore and yet i crave to hear it and feel it and around the time the sex stopped so did basic communcation so i cant exactly talk to him about it he just walks away when i bring up any form of a problem really we only talk about him when it comes to casual conversation he ignores or changes the subject to his life when i bring up mine did i do something wrong i havent changed much in the past year except bein pregnant.....am i really just missing the point blank fact that he doesnt want me anymore? why wont he just say so why wont he hear what i have to say and why does he say he stillwants me around yet the only reason were still together is the child i carry cause we sure have nothing else in common anymore

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

But out of all the years I've dealt with this the one piece of advice I can give you is don't take it out on yourself I still best myself up asking what's so bad about me why is porn so much better to him then me I feel ugly and like there's something wrong with me but remember this he's the one with the problem he's the one who would rather use his hand and look at worn out sluts than have real sex so theres nothing wrong with you and if you confront him you can't expect he will really stop he might for a little while but he will start again and if it gets to be to much or hurts you to much then go find a real man who likes sex they all act like they do at first but you can tell with in a couple months!

August 6, 2014 - 7:00am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

That has helped heaps... thankyou!!!

August 6, 2014 - 3:13pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

That answer is great that lady gave but the problem for me isn't that he watches porn tho he has promised he wouldn't to and I've left him over it cause I said I don't mind if he does but when it inter fears with our sex life I'm going to not be okay with it and it has we went 6 months without having sex and I tried everything I could think of I cried almost every night after making an attempt to turn him on he would either move my hands off him roll over or make dumb excuse why he didn't want to but then he still has the energy to watch porn n jerk it n that's the part that makes me mad not that he does but that I feel he would rather watch porn than have sex with me it's pathetic I mean he literally went n locked himself in the bathroom last night and watched porn n what not while I was awake on the bed I hadn't showered but I did the day before and shaved everywhere hoping he'd get the hint he did but he still didn't want to have sex. We have augured over this for years now I mean I'm a 21 year old beautiful woman not to be coincided just finally to a point where I feel I'm pretty the way I am and if this doesn't stop as much as it would hurt I will probably leave or cheat as bad as that is but I need the flame back or even a spark just something I should feel so not wanted and at thus age I should be able to be as sexually active as I want just as that lady said but I don't like porn or playing with myself so what am I supposed to do he gets his whenever so why can't i!?!

August 6, 2014 - 6:53am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for a year and a bit now.
We have amazing sex but hardly ever... at the start of our relationship it was daily now maybe once or twice a month. If im lucky :-(
He said he dosnt have energy to have sex often becuase of work and I am 100% conciderate of everyhing he says and does but he still watches porn and lies when I find out becuase he dosnt delete it off the internet when hes finished ... what the hell do I do???
I try and say something to him and he gets angry and I get upset.
It makes me feel like im worthless, unwanted, not pretty or sexy and that he dosnt find me attractive to him anymore.
What do I do... Ive tried everything....
How would he like it if I got a vibrator and never let him watch ...

August 3, 2014 - 10:56pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

If he's tired, blow him, or ride him.

November 14, 2014 - 1:32pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Iv been with my boyfriend for over 2 years.i love him more than anyone or anything and couldn't imagine my life without him, we speak about EVERYTHING. At the start of our relationship he knew how much porn and masturbating meant to me and that I really despise it.. through personal reasons.. he completely understood and we had a heart to heart.
Has never done it since and I couldnt love him more enough for that, recently we have been arguing over silly things lately and I saw his ipad history last night.nnothing could have destroyed me more than seeing several pages of porn and several videos- therefore knowing he has wanked ans watched porn. Two things I cannot deal with
I confronted him, in a complete state, and his attitude has just changed completely,. He startedsaying well It was a long time ago I thought you would be over it, its porn get over it etc etc
He has no idea how much it has really rocked me and my trust in him. I dont feel comfortable lying with him and just beed some help and advice on what to do.
I don't not want to be with him but I just need to know he isnt bored of me and does love me, I feel so rubbish right now

October 17, 2013 - 10:51am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Wow. My boyfriend of 5 years (he's 50 yrs old) just masturbated with me laying in bed with him. I was asleep until he grabbed my hand and put it on the tip of his penis and came in my hand. All I said was are you serious! I got out of bed, washed my hand, put my clothes on, grabbed my pillow, now I'm sleeping on the couch. I feel like he didn't want me... I have never seen him jack off. He doesn't watch porn, we still have sex almost daily. I just don't understand. It makes me sad that he would do that with me right there, as if his hand was the better option. We have never slept apart, unless one of us is out of town. We don't fight. We are very playful. I just don't understand why.

September 9, 2013 - 1:23am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Hi, I am 9 months pregnant now, and going through a very similar thing. My fiance and I haven't had sex in over a month now, and the last time that we did he just laid there and received oral. I have offered everyday to have sex of some sort and he just replies that he is tired, or he is okay, or that maybe some other night we could. Which is so strange since we used to have sex everyday (even after two years). Being pregnant makes you feel strange and awkward and fat enough, and finding porn on your fiances tablet makes you feel even worse. So much for support. I don't even know what to do anymore, I feel like if we don't have a good sex life now, after the baby comes its going to get much worse. Its hard to sleep at night thinking that he's just going to sneak out and jerk off in the bathroom, its making me sick.

September 3, 2013 - 4:56am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Omg I so know what you mean I need a friend who knows what I'm going through none of my friends have this problem for some reason

August 6, 2014 - 7:05am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

its probably not you, its the baby... we just had one 6 months ago. it may be safe by doctor standards (not really sure about 9 months but i thing they said up until delivery is fine?) but its still a bit strange at times especially with the baby moving around so much and doing the "mummy in the sandstorm" and all that. Just wait, he will hardly be able to go the six weeks post partum until you can have sex again.

September 13, 2013 - 8:48am
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