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Why does my Husband jerk off while im home, and lie about it?

By September 29, 2010 - 8:22am
 
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Actually, I caught him my first time, and he lied about everything. he confessed, said sorry, but, i hear him all the time, espcially in the mornings. He moans, but he denies it. When he could be taking his horny self out on me. I love sex, and i crave it, so i dont see why he is wanting to jerk off, when he has me.
Hes absolutly Lazy! Usually after work, he comes home, and we eat dinner, then usually watch a movie. usually we rent them, but he always falls asleep, we use to sit together on the couch, but he lays down in the other one and just passes out.

If were laying in bed, and im messing with him to get him aroused, he just lays there. I litterally have to ask for sex, cuz if i dont have sex with him, he goes to option b, bathroom to jerk off. I guess hes just too lazy. Im just at a point too give up. its like hes no longer into me. The sad thing is, Ive lost 60pounds sense i had my son. (i have two kids) ive had all this weight on me sense me and him started dating. actually i was 2 months pregnant, so not quite as much weight put on me. but ive lost it all. and sadly, no affection...
If we do have sex, its graved in my mind that, i, have to be on top. If hes horny, and we mess around (which is rare) ill try getting him on top, but of course hes strong and gets me on top, then im stuck there, he dont want to do new sex moves, nothing. Just that one move the entire time. I ask him to switch it up, and he says, next time, but he says next time every time i ask. so then again, im stuck on top. Hes just too lazy to do anything, I dont have a clue waht too do...
Alot of people would say join him. but its kinda hard, when he locks himself in the bathroom, and denies it, so he pretty much kicks me to the side, as though im nothing. What should i Do???

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EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

As someone who just got caught doing the deed today I suggest that you not take it as something against you other than his needs aren't being met. My wife caught me today and honestly the only reason I wasn't making it with her instead is because she's angry a lot of the time and I don't feel she wants it; her anger pushes me away. Other than that I'm jerking off to things she refuses to do. I can't enjoy when she does dabble in giving a BJ because she absolutely hates it; I have to go down there for her to climax **every time** but she doesn't enjoy or want to reciprocate. Most of the time I'm jerking off imaging things I want that she wont ever do. I'm not cheating on her and never will...it's a relationship between me and my hand... I'm just curbing a need and I hate that I have to do it. I'm ashamed that I have to do it to meet my own needs and she's disgusted by it.
I guess my point for you is to do one of two things; 1) don't take it personally because he's just meeting his own needs unless 2) you could be doing something to prevent it or if he's doing other things like ogling other women/etc. If he's jerking off next to you it means that he's horny, he doesn't feel like you're approachable about it, and his needs haven't been met. I'm speaking for myself since I don't know your man (for all I know he could have a sex addiction or something) but just saying that what it means to you might not be what it means to him.

August 22, 2016 - 7:27pm
(reply to Anonymous)

I forgot to mention that it's a big turn on for me to watch my husband jerk off. I do anything and everything sexuakky for him, I'll even swing from the chandeliers if he wanted me to so I don't understand what the problem is. If it is a need for men to do it then he should never have lied to me about it. I thought men only needed to jerk off when they weren't having sex, but my husband can have it 24/7 if he wants!

August 23, 2016 - 8:25pm
(reply to Anonymous)

That's an interesting perspective. It's good to hear a mans point of view. In my case, I give my husband anything he wants and whenever he wants it! In the 32 years we have known each other (we met as kids) I have never said no to sex. I am "proud" of the fact that I never refused my husband when he wants sex and that is why I feel the need/urge to jerk off shouldn't effect him. Whenever I asked him about jerking off he said he Never does it. Then when I found out that he does it, He claimed to only do it when I'm not home and that it's not that often. He said it was worse when he was younger but it's the fact that whenever I asked him he lied to me about it. That hurts the most

August 23, 2016 - 8:18pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

Maybe he's in the same boat as many other men, that just get tired of doing all the initiation of it. My girl used to have a sex drive, and with me being the older of us, her's died. So I jack off. Better then going out to find it. When she wants it, oh well, I am satisfied already so deal with it. And now she bitches that we dont do it enough since she found out. Well, maybe she should of thought that it is a 2 way street in a relationship. Just because you own the pussy you got, dont mean ya make the rules.

June 25, 2016 - 11:46am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous

and oh yea WHY DO MEN ALL LIE???

April 24, 2016 - 4:42am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Because even if we tell a lie or truth we get bitched at so we lie to try and avoid hearing shit. I will tell you today's society is not conducive to relationships. I much rather jack off than to deal with the bullshit. When I was trying to have sex all the time I was using her as a sex object now we don't have sex and she is upset. But now a day do don't even jack off I can't get an errection and I'm only 36 this marriage has destroyed my man hood I feel like a little boy cuz she treats me like yhAt even though I bring home double what she makes she wears the pants and I can never do anything right cuz I'm s dumb male.

July 13, 2016 - 12:55pm
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

I would like to say that I am so sorry for you.. If you are unhappy in your relationship than you should do something about it.... Your relationship should be a partnership not a dictatorship... Everyone deserves to be happy.. Put your big boy pants on and make some changes... take back your manhood... good luck to you!!

August 19, 2016 - 3:03am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Please leave this relationship...wow. you can do better. Sad to read.

August 4, 2016 - 7:59am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Anonymous)

Its simple we think you will see it as cheating I lied for years then one day I asked my wife to watch me she said yes

June 1, 2016 - 8:47pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to Anonymous)

Hi Anon!

All men don't lie - trust me. There are many good men out there. You either have bad luck or you're choosing the wrong ones.

Best,
Susan

April 28, 2016 - 1:27pm
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