Why does my Husband jerk off while im home, and lie about it?

Its simple we think you will see it as cheating I lied for years then one day I asked my wife to watch me she said yes

I have been married thirty years. He always made me believe he only had eyes for me. Said he never did that. Over the years I have found evidence he does. Last week I found it and I have been crying since. He goes into rages instead of talking. I am so completely devastated fight now. Know one can know how hurt I am. I truly fell for his lies and over the years it has been obvious he lies. It's funny but I actually feel like I am being cheated on. I hate him now and hate what he has done to me. I can't stop crying.

I'm dealing with the exact same thing :(

Well. Thats pretty obviously your fault! You can fix it by buying some lingerie.. start being sexual.. and if he wants to put you in a sex swing and make you call him spounge bob then do it! You could like it! And even come uo with your own ideas. You are exactly the problem. Be the resolution.

Thank you for sharing a guy's perspective with me. I can't help but be jealous knowing my husband masturbates "in secret" and watches porn to get off. I can never live up to any of those acts in those porn movies, I'll never have a body that good, although I will say that I ne ear have and ne ear will say no to any form of sex... Vsginal,anal, blow jobs, hand jobs, swinging from the chandeliers, lol. I'm down for anything and everything. If he fantasizes about having sex with the women in thevporn movies, why? Why fantasize when he can have the real thing? Because I'm not pretty or sexy enough? That's the way I feel. It hurts and it's hard to get over. Just today he told me that he fantasizes about having sex with girls in the porn things he sees on the computer... I willadmit I asked him about it... I guess I shouldn't have because I can't handle the truth. Does he fantasizes about them when he's having sex with me? If so then what does he need me for? Just have your fantasy and jerk off, you do it anyway so where's the need for me? It's been so long since this first happened, about 6 months, but I'm still worried, upset, insecure and hurt by this. Now we are at the point that he's so frustrated by the topic, because I still ask questions about it every once in a while, that he gets mad and in a bad mood if ever I bring it up. I don't blame him for getting angry but how can I get over this obsession I have about it? I don't trust my husband and that's a new feeling for me. For the past 30 years I've had nothing but total confidence and trust in him. He's betrayed me by lying for such a long time and any secure feelings I had are all gone. Sometimes we are still happy together but occasionally it's just an act on my part. I want my old life back when my husband and I were a team and on the same side, that's gone now. If he would have told me sooner and not waited 30 years to tell me, I would have been upset but it would have been easier to get over because I wouldn't have been fooled and deceived by the person I love with all my heart. Why do you, as a guy, think he waited so long to tell me? And why do you think he even told me about it in the first place, after 30 years? To hurt me, to punish me for some reason? I asked him if he told me because he felt guilty about fooling me for so long and he said no. I feel like finding a sexy man to fantasize about for me, Maybe I should search the Internet like he did. I hate this! I feel like such a fool. Btw, if you were actually talking to me in your post, which I hope, please refer to me as Laura from now on as there are too many "anonymous" users and it gets confusing about who's talking to whom. Thank you so much for your help!