Why does my Husband jerk off while im home, and lie about it?

Hi Faith, my husband has denied me sex on a few occassions because of his masturbation although he denies it, but not too often that I am aware of. What I am most bothered by is the fact that he lied to me for 30 years about it. We made a pact that we would only masturbate with each other when we were young and it was the dumbest thing we could have ever done. But if he would have told me much sooner that he had been doing it alone and then lying about it, whenever I asked about it, it may have been a little easier for me to get over it. Why did he wait 30 years and then one day, out of the blue, unsolicited just blurt out that he's been masturbating all along. Did he tell me to hurt me or to make me feel insecure that I've been believing a lie for 30 years? I feel like such a fool. Does it ever make you feel insecure when your husband watches porn and jerks off? There is no way I could ever look as good as those porn stars and if I fee he prefers that to me there is just no hope! I will say again that I don't think he's denied me sex because he masturbates and it's only been a few times when I suspected he did, but I never allowed myself to fully believe it because I felt my husband wouldn't lie to me like that, but now I know he did.

Hi Faith, my husband claims to never have turned me down for sex because of his masturbation but I know of at least a few occassions that he did. There haven't been a lot of times that He's turned me down because of it, but the thing I am bothered by the most is the lies. Why lie? If you can't live up to our deal of no solo masturbation then tell me and I'll learn to deal with it. But he had me believing for the past 30 years that He wasn't masturbating alone, we would incorporate it into our sexcapades so to speak, for both him and me and we both got turned on watching each other. I am bothered by the long standing lie and the deceit. Why did he lie for so long? If he would have told me sooner it would have made it a little easier for me to get over, but waiting 30 years to finally tell me the truth, unsolicited I might add, just hurts me so much. I didn't even ask him about it and then just one day, out of the blue, sitting on the couch he blurts out that he's been masturbating our whole relationship and lying about it. Why? Why did he wait so long and then one day just tell me about it for no reason, it's not like I was suspecting anything, I'm wondering if he did it to hurt me, to make me feel insecure in our relationship like I can't trust him because he lies to me. I can't understand why he felt the need to "confess" if it wasn't to hurt me. Maybe he finally felt guilty after 30 years of lies and deceit that he had to get it off his chest. When I asked him why he told me he says he doesn't know why. I'm upset and confused and so sick of feeling like a fool over this. Enough is enough!