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Why doesn't my b/f want to have sex?

By October 16, 2010 - 11:54am
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My boyfriend and I have only been together for just under a year. He is 36 y.o and I am 25. We do love each other. We have talked about plans to get married, children in the future, etc. We had an OK sex life in the begining. OK, meaning I always seemed to want it more than he did but atleast we had sex 1-2 times a week. After just a couple months he stopped trying all together. I'm lucky if we have sex once a month. If I wasn't the one pursing it we probably wouldn't even have that. I've tried so many different things but I feel like I'm not doing enough to keep him intersted. I'm healthy and I used to think I was pretty attractive. He tells me all the time that I'm extremly attractive he just doesn't have the desire to have sex. He tells me that he doesn't know what's wrong with him because when he was in his 20's he always wanted sex. He says it's not me. He says he is not seeing anyone else and I know he is not. He always says he is sorry after he rejects me. No matter what he says I feel like I'm lacking something. I feel so unattractive. I feel like a fool for always putting myself out there just to be rejected. I know he has plans to propose to me; his mother called to tell me. I love him so much but not even a year into our relationship and we're barely having sex. I don't know If I can live that way for the rest of our lives. I'm so confused.

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We get this question quite often, and reading the others will probably help you more than anything else: b/f doesn't want sex

Since your boyfriend is as perplexed as you are, I suggest he make an appointment with a health care provider to be sure he isn't having a medical issue such as diabetes or a hormonal problem. Once you rule out the medical, you can move on to other issues.

I suggest you not get engaged until this is sorted out. You sound like this would be a big problem for you in a marriage, and that is totally normal. You don't want to commit to someone you may not be able to stay with.

Good luck and please let us know if we can help further. Thank you for writing.

October 16, 2010 - 2:39pm
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