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Why doesn't my boyfriend enjoy having sex with me?

By August 14, 2010 - 5:35am
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I love my boyfriend, and we seem to be completely compatible on everything except for this issue. We have tried a few different forms of sex (vaginal, oral, anal) but he doesn't seem to really enjoy any of them. He said it just feels like "air" when we are having intercourse and that he doesn't get off to fellatio (or at least the way I give it to him). I am the only person he has ever had sex with, so I have no idea of what to go off of. I have only had sex with one other person, so I can't imagine that both my vagina and anus are that wide. He thinks it might have something to do with the fact that his penis does not fit all the way inside my vagina (he is 7.5 inches) and if that is the reason, I don't know what to do. Ironically, he is able to orgasm but it takes a lot of time, and if he isn't enjoying that time I'd rather spend it doing something that he will really enjoy. I just don't know what. I'd really like to bring him more pleasure and keep things going great. Please help.

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EmpowHER Guest

Hi Ineedhelp,

Thank you for your question. The first thing that comes to mind when you explained your situation is that since you both are not well-versed in sexual intercourse, this may be the main issue. For example, my first sexual encounter is not the same as my sex life now. You learn over time what makes you feel good or what does not but don't let this discourage you.

The main thing you both can do is get more educated on sexual positions, the act of sex in itself. You know sometimes, foreplay is a great starter. Touching, feeling, loving each other: those sorts of things. Women have a hard enough time trying to figure out how to orgasm in itself as men have a better grasp of the idea although, his mind is really in control of his orgasm as well.

You know, Cosmopolitan ran an article about several top rated sexual positions and here is the website to get more acquainted with them http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/positions/.

See if this helps. Try to get him more involved since if he says you feel like air (?), what does he have it to compare to? He may not understand the idea yet...be patient.

I hope this helps.

August 14, 2010 - 9:39am
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