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ask: Why doesn't my husband stay hard while I am on Top?

By blueeyedangel
 
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While my husband and I are having sex and I am on top, he doesn't stay hard. Is there something wrong with me? Am I doing something wrong? He says it's just that we were in that position longer than usual.. I feel that is a bunch off bull. What do I do?

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Alison Beaver

Why don't you believe what your husband says?

Are you able to look at the facts, and not be difficult on yourself (I assume you are blaming yourself for this, since you asked what you are doing wrong). Is it a fact: when you two are in this sexual position, are you indeed in this position longer than compared to other positions? If yes, then he may lose his erection slightly, and you two can try another position. It seems easy...just as some sexual positions feel better to you than others, right? If you don't like one sexual position, do you blame your husband for not doing it right, or do you not like him or not find him attractive? Probably not...you just move onto another position, I hope! I assume the same is with your husband, too.

It sounds like there is a communication or trust problem, though. Or, are you feeling less-than-confident? Why do you think what he says is a bunch of "bull"? Are you enjoying this position, are you self-conscious or is there some other negative self-talk going on? Does your husband complain about sexual positions, or has he lied in the past about his preferences or likes/dislikes?

June 20, 2010 - 8:29pm
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