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Why dont I get real pleasure from sex?

By June 25, 2010 - 9:07am
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I'm 22 years old and married for two years. I have never really had immense pleasure from having sex. I can orgasm "manually" from my clitoris but then thats where the pleasure stops. Once my Husband penetraits its just like "ok well this is alright i guess". So I never orgasm then and dont feel "satisfied" afterwards. I almost feel best once he's out! I am on anti-depressants and i just stopped using birth control (hormonal). I also hardly every feel fully aroused! (or even half aroused for that matter!)

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EmpowHER Guest

theres a pill for this problem??

April 7, 2015 - 2:31am
EmpowHER Guest


September 14, 2011 - 10:57am
EmpowHER Guest

Women generally take longer to have an orgasim then men do. It takes me anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes sometimes, and frankley I don't know any men that can last that long! Who knows, maybe if he could i could cum during intercourse! My husband goes down on me first. He says "I cum first" LOL, then he enters inside me, then we're both happy. Try it. IT'S AMAZING! ;-P

July 2, 2010 - 4:34pm

Anti Depressants, What got you on it, now if sex is not working think for a moment what triggered you to take the pills for your condition. Now this what I am saying is not supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. If you can remember what got you on the tablets you will be able to help yourself to have better sex with your partner. If that does not work you could see a sex therapist for advice and she or he can lead you in the right direction for a fullfilled sex drive with your partner. This is only a suggestion ok, good luck.

June 26, 2010 - 7:51pm
EmpowHER Guest

when on top its not about the thrusting motion its more of the grinding that will get you stimulated (your rubbing the clitoris and G-spot)...when going up and down it mostly stimulates the man...the only way i can describe the motion that might work for would be to make circular motions while he is completely inside of you...once you explore this you can try grinding back and forth...some women like this style fast others like it slow but in the end you won't be as exhausted...if you still can visualize this you can always watch some porn of women who do this style...also if you just can seem to get the motion down ask him to help guide your hips for you...if you do prefer the up and down motion try doing some exercises, like lunges and squats, because will help strengthen your quads which you use a lot by doing that up and down motion...

June 26, 2010 - 4:00pm

Hi CazAnne-

The first thing I want to tell you is that this is not an uncommon issue, especially at your age.

Did you feel this way before you were taking antidepressants? Sexual difficulties including low libido and trouble with orgasm are common side effects of many antidepressants. If you think this might be part of the problem, I suggest you talk to your prescribing provider.

Another possibility is position. Many women cannot have an orgasm in the "missionary" position. It just doesn't hit the right parts of the anatomy for them. You might consider experimenting with different positions, for instance with you on top, to see if that helps.

Some people just don't have the high sex drive that others have. Everyone is different. Some want sex several times a day, some people are happy with once a year. Have you ever had a strong sex drive?

We get a lot of discussion on sex here on the site. Reading what other people have said may help you: http://www.empowher.com/condition/sexual-well-being.

Good luck and if you want to discuss this further, please let us know.

June 25, 2010 - 11:36am
EmpowHER Guest
Anonymous (reply to Cary Cook BSN RN)

I've been taking anit-depressants since I was about 14. I do remember getting aroused at small things when I was in High School. But ever since I got married (and started birth control) it just went away! Even intimate moments in movies would arouse me! I didn't start having sex until I was married so I guess I would say I've never had much of a sex drive. I've tried on top but I'm just not sure how to move once I'm up there. My legs start to burn in a matter of minutes then I cant relax because i'm focusing on being able to keep going even though my thighs are killing me! Any suggestions?

June 25, 2010 - 12:08pm
(reply to Anonymous)

That comment was mine by the way ^^!- CazAnne

June 25, 2010 - 12:10pm
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