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why dont my bf and i have sex or have intimacy anymore?

By Anonymous August 23, 2015 - 1:13am
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We had sex last Sunday n it's Sunday again n he never initiates it, he's in therapy for being a porn addict n absent seen nothing since may 2 2015 n we have had but its only been 3 x this month of August and I'm worried, I don't feel wanted from him n he says he is sexually attracted to me n he has erectile dysfunction n I hear that can make it difficult, but I need the intimacy n sex back into our relationship what can I do to make him Chase n want me again? We are mostly always together to n I need advice badley

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Hello and thank you for choosing EmpowHer,
I'm sorry to hear that you are not satisfied in your relationship.
It sounds like your boyfriend has a lot of struggles surrounding the subject of sex. Having a prior addiction implies that there is negativity surrounding sex for him, instead of pleasure. If he also struggles with erectile dysfunction that is more discomfort and negativity to overcome.
I do not believe he is avoiding sex because of you, but because of the personal issues he is struggling with. I understand that sex very personal, so it is easy to take it personally if your lover does not seem interested. But I don't think you should take it personally.
The best thing you can do it open a conversation with him. Communication is everything. Make sure you use a lot of "I" statements instead of "you" statements. For example, "I feel sad that we aren't intimate very often." Instead of "You don't have sex with me as much as I would like." The first is not threatening. It expresses your needs without blaming him for not fulfilling them. This kind of conversation will allow you to start understanding where he is mentally and emotionally on the subject of sex and intimacy.
If you have any more questions, let us know.

August 23, 2015 - 1:29pm
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