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Why my 31 year old boyfriend of a year will not have sex with me?

By August 7, 2010 - 5:24pm
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My boyfriend is 31 and has some sick problems with his penis and it hurts him he says to have sex with me. We both have been tested for everything (std's) and nothing. He has even went to a dermatologist and they say nothing is wrong. But still no sex and he hurts and say he is afraid to have sex or get hard. What could it bee and how do we take care of this? Is it just me he doesn't want to be with? He says he wants me. Also i see his penis gets red and swollen like but again i know for 100% sure that he is clean i was there at the doctors when the tests where read off so i know but what can it be then?

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HERWriter Guide


Thanks for your question!

It does seem like something may be 'wrong' with his penis but it also sounds like it may be something other than an STD or an issue with the skin (a dermatological issue) on his penis.

Has your boyfriend seen a urologist? The penis is not just about sex, but is also the outlet for urination and he may have some kind of infection or issue going on in his urethra or even his bladder or another area (like his prostate) that is connected to the penis.

I think his seeing a urologist is a good idea for now, and at least if he doesn't have a problem in this area, he can scratch it from his list.

What do you think?


August 8, 2010 - 9:56am
(reply to Susan Cody)

Well he want to a urologist and they said nothing was wrong there two but i know he didn't have some of the things looked at like you said we will look into that thanks

August 8, 2010 - 4:14pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to SUGABUGA)

Do look into all his options with him, SUGABUGA, and please keep us posted as to his progress,

August 9, 2010 - 12:43pm
(reply to Susan Cody)

well today we went and seen the dermatologist and he believes that my boyfriend has a fugal Bactria (moire commonly know as yeast infection ) or that he needs another secularization because as man get older (some) have extra growth of sick and that in it's self can be the cause of all the problems. Also their are other health issues that are being looked into like blood pressure, cloistral, diabetes, and more so again thanks for the advice and help oh and we are going to the urologists in three weeks also so thanks again i am just glad to see it's not just me or a cheating thing...

August 9, 2010 - 10:50pm
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