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Why my husband does not make love ? I am a newly wed...

By Anonymous September 14, 2010 - 10:47pm
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Let me tell you my story..
I am from India - Asia, I have been in love with this man since 6 years back in India. In these 6 years we met hardly 6 times because he used to be in US and i used to be in India ... back in 2008 December , we had good vacation together in US as i was also in US for company's work and he was too . In May 2010 I got married to the same guy and came to US 2 months back... Till that time i was virgin.. never had sex with my boy friend ... and he never forced me to do so before marriage... After marriage, we had sex but not that intense what i expected.. Let me clarify my age.. I am 29 and my husband is 31. According to him, he does not feel so strong desire for sex at the age of 31. But i do.. After staying to gather , there were times when we didn't have sex for 15 days and then when he knew i feel very rejected he was ready to do so.. 2- 3 times he started making love but in between only he was tired and leaving me unsatisfied, according to him he was tired.. Now Let me describe my self.. I am an attractive girl but with few extra pounds( i am trying to reduce) and he is in perfect body shape.. I tried talking with him on this topic a lot.. but according to him he says as he has grown older he is not feel like doing...It has hardly been 4 months of my marriage .. I thought there will not be a single day when he does not want me but all the dreams have been shattered... Now the real problem is , my in-laws have come from India , we live in 1bHK apartment. We wanted to change in 2bhk but could not break the lease and had to live in 1bhk. My in-laws sleep in hall, and we sleep in bed room.But the bathroom is common. In the night it is very quite. Now when i demand sex , my husband has a reply that its very quite and the noise can go out .. and he is not comfortable.. I tried explaining him that even if I do lot of noise they don't get up from sleep. Their sleep is very sound...But he is not ready. I asked him to consult a doctor but he felt bad when i said so.. It has been 21 days since we made love.. Now it is fixed in my mind that am undesirable and he is not interested in me. I am getting into depression. and i desperately come out of it. I daily cry in the night after he sleeps.. I would like to mention that other than this he is a perfect husband ,he kisses me hugs me .. ya we have fights on financial matter..but we are working on it.. I asked him many times that what he wants me to change so that he gets attracted to me but no answer, as usual he says he like me a lot.. but its his age ,thats why he does not feel like making love with me.. is 31 so old age to make love? My in-laws are here for 2 months so that means no love making till 2 months? and after that even i don't know.. Please please guide me .. please... before i loose confidence in me and slide into depression

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HERWriter Guide

Anon - Many other women have this same experience. You will find a lot of helpful comments in the following thread: http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-sex-me-anymore

September 16, 2010 - 7:55am
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