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Why would a man date a woman he's not sexually attracted too?

By Anonymous January 21, 2016 - 3:42am
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I was in a relationship with this guy for almost four years. We were engaged, but we both agreed that we didn't want to have sex until our honeymoon. After we broke up my ex confessed that he never found me sexually attractive. Why would someone be with someone for so long if they weren't sexually attracted to them?

More info: We did make out and did some things, but we definitely didn't even come close to "going all the way." The person I dated was extremely emotionally abusive. I was slightly older than him, but I had no money and really wasn't a gold-digger type. Is it possible that if he was using me that he was using me for something other than money/sex? I just really don't understand why someone would want to be with someone for so long that they weren't attracted to.

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HERWriter Guide

Hi Anon

Thanks for your post!

Only your ex can tell you exactly why - we can only hazard a guess based on experiences talking with other women on this topic.

One main reason is that he is gay (this would also explain not having sex with you) and using you as a "beard" - to cover it up. This happens more often that you think. But unless he tells you, you can't know. It's good that the relationship is over due to it's abusive nature so it doesn't really matter in the whole scheme of things. I hope you have moved on well and starting life afresh.


January 21, 2016 - 6:46am
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