hello.I've just got married and I am turning 40 yrs old soon. I know my husband for many years before marriage, but we never had sexual intercourse due to religious matters. Now that we came to a wonderful decision to share life and have a family hopefully not late, I started to feel I am destroying my marriage at its very beautiful passionate beginning because I can't bear the pain or even the idea to be undergoing the pain of first time sex.
The problem is we have tried many times during 2 months but still no results. I tried preparing myself physically and morally, well dressed up, with candles, nice meals..to clear away my fear but when he comes to me in bed, I start feeling the panic even if he is cuddling me. I resist him with all power and scream as if he is a raper not my husband He is so helpful and tried all he can with me but he is not a stone, he gets angry and upset and avoids me sometimes. I am really scared of putting my marriage in a serious matter especially that sex is important in a couples' life. Also I want to have a baby. I tried one finger, two fingers, not more but I can't bear the penis 's size to be forced in or tearing tissues in my vagina. please, I would be grateful if u save a life of a married couple who found settlement at last but it could be lost forever. we love each other.
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