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ask: Would you be a surrogate for a childless person? Would you use a surrogate?

By Annefleur October 4, 2008 - 4:53pm
 
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I don't think I could be a surrogate for anyone because I know I'd grow attached even if I was in no way biologically connected to the child. Carrying a child is so intimate for me!

But many women offer this service, and it can pay up to $20,000 in the form of expenses and other financial concerns. Women use the money to pay their mortgages, to educate their children or to take vacations!

Could you do it? Would you do it?

Would money be an incentive or the chance to offer a child to a person who couldn't do it themselves? Or both?

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All user-generated information on this site is the opinion of its author only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. Members and guests are responsible for their own posts and the potential consequences of those posts detailed in our Terms of Service.

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miscortes HERWriter Guide

I think it is commendable for any woman that will go through the pain and agony of childbirth to have a child for another person, honestly. I could not do it myself, but I guess I may be a little selfish in that aspect.

Accepting payments is another issue though. I know it is very expensive to have children in a hospital and I have heard that the new parents will pay for all the medical appointments and the hospital bills associated with the births. Accepting any monetary settlement afterwards, I think is a little awkward since it is not right to sell a human being.

I would assume, there would be lost wages, pain and suffering and of course mental issues afterwards that could be compensable but not for actually selling the child.

There are many States that do not recognize surrogacy and actually the participants can be prosecuted legally which, of course, causes issues for the involved parties. I am aware that California is very lenient when it comes to surrogacy though. There are only a handful of States that actually recognize surrogacy with State intervention. If you want to see whether your State recognizes surrogacy click here, provided by Surrogacy.com http://www.surrogacy.com/legals/map.html.

October 5, 2008 - 10:29am
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Anonymous

I have been a gestational surrogate 4 times (meaning the children I carry are not my biological children).

It has been an incredibly positive and wonderful experience for me. I now work in the surrogacy industry and help educate other surrogates about risks, etc.

A previous poster stated that surrogates are paid for the child. They are NOT. Surrogates are compensated for pain and suffering, inconvenience, and pre-birth child support. Intended parents should also cover any cost associated with the process (including lost wages, medical insurance/bills, medications, travel, etc).

I hope that helps clarify.

October 6, 2008 - 6:48am
Anne

I haven't had children of my own. My husband and I went through a few years of infertility treatment, which was frustrating, emotional and expensive. We stopped short of anything like in-vitro or surrogacy, but at one point in the process my sister, who has had four children of her own, said she would be our surrogate if we decided to go that direction. We didn't ask; she offered.

It was an incredibly loving gesture, and I actually wonder what the percentage is of how many surrogacy arrangements begin this way (instead of with a stranger). So many sisters or dear friends who have children of their own would find it natural to want to share that joy with someone they loved who had infertility problems.

Had we not stopped where we did, I would have considered my sister's offer. We investigated adoption instead, which was fulfilling in a completely different way. But I loved knowing that the possibility of our own biological child was there.

October 6, 2008 - 9:27am
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Anonymous

My husband and I found out in May that both of my tubes had to be removed which was done in May as well. if anyone has information about ivf or surrogacy. My husband is a solider in the ARMY and I manage a tanning salon so the possilbilty of us being able to afford this procedure 100% upfront monthly yes with not a concern. Who do u contact to find out information on surrogacy I haven't looked into this so pretty much am a total loss lol...thanks for listening

August 18, 2009 - 9:42pm
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