share: Agoraphobia Recovery
About three years ago my life went to peices, my long term boyfriend had left me, got injured, consequently lost my job and then my apartment. All within a three month period. I went to a store to go pick up some things for my apartment while i still had it and felt this horrible sensation. It was my first panic attack. I started thinking that I didn't have enough money for the purchase, I checked my wallet and I knew rationally that I did but for some reason my brain was telling me I was going to be sick and I began shaking and couldn't breathe.
After that day I was frightened to go out anywhere, I was afraid to work and my attendance dropped significantly. The moment I felt any nausea in my body I would stay home and sulk that I had no money. I went through multiple jobs, was kicked out of many houses until my friends put me up on their couches. The worst was the three month stint I spent at my friend's house refusing to leave. I was panicking in the shower, in the car for the two-minute trip for cigarettes, panicking while brushing my teeth or eating breakfast. Nothing stopped it. I searched for work-at-home jobs and went to an online college class to try to get higher learning while I got over the attacks. I knew they weren't permanent but I was in a hurry to not feel scared anymore.
I was eventually diagnosed with a physical stomach disorder that caused the dreaded nauseas feelings and once I could tell myself that the nausea was normal or that if I felt sick I was strong enough to find my own way out a situation my feelings began to calm down. It took me two years to finally get the self-talk to take affect, and I still have panic to this day though its highly diminished. The main idea that helped me was proving to myself that my friends would be there for me if anything would happen to me, true or not and that if they weren't or couldn't be that I was stronger and smarter than to let fear take over my life. Fighting the panic is the hardest thing but if you start to enjoy it (as odd as that sounds) the fear becomes a challenge instead. Making jokes about it,( oh my heart rate is increasing, that's good for my blood flow, I don't even need to excersize!) and laughing at yourself. This will increase endorphin flow and minimize the fear that you feel. Changing your diet helps immensely as well. When I quit soda and mainly drank cranberry juice (mainly to keep stomach viruses at bay--I still have a very hardcore fear of throwing up) I felt so much better. For one, I could tell myself, I drank cranberry juice, I CAN'T get sick. Also, the lack of caffeine and stomach destroying acids in soda severely quieted down the anxious feelings. Eating better really does help.
All in all, my fear took me years to get over and its not completely gone but I have the mental tools to break through it. Now I don't feel comfortable if I'm IN the house for too long and I need to go out somewhere. My life has improved and the fun social situations I find myself in are enough to help me fight the panic next time. Just because you feel fear doesn't mean something bad is about to happen. It just poor brain wiring from a traumatic event and if you can learn to be afraid, you can learn not to be afraid.
Also, therapy and medication helps.
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Thank you for sharing your story. My Mother suffered from agoraphobia for several years. I was a young child at the time but I remember it was a very sad time for her as well as my brother and I.
I remember that she was so sad she would not take us outside at all. If we went to play outside, she would watch from the door of the house. She was physically abused by my father and could not come to grips with what her life had transpired into. Luckily, she also knew there was an issue and her courageous efforts to leave my father with two kids and make a life for us was phenomenal. I still tell her to this day how much she inspires me.
This is a very inspirational story. This story may help several woman that are in the same predicament as you were. I commend you for breaking through the tough times and there is certainly a bright future which includes the sunlight outside. Life is grand. Thank you so much for the story, very inspirational.
March 29, 2009 - 10:34amThis Comment
I love what you said, "Just because you feel fear doesn't mean something bad is about to happen. It just poor brain wiring from a traumatic event and if you can learn to be afraid, you can learn not to be afraid."
What a great way to "tame the gremlins" and not let them overtake your life. I think a lot can be learned from your story, as many women experience anxiety, but we can also learn from you in relation to any negative self-talk we have, whether it is body-image, being preoccupied with worry or guilt...the list goes on.
Don't Believe Everything You Think is a mantra that has helped me overcome the negative self-talk.
Thanks so much!
March 29, 2009 - 8:50pmAnon, thank you so very much for writing about your experiences. We actually hear quite a bit about agoraphobia and agoraphobics these days, but we don't often hear stories about how they made progress and how they got well.
I agree with Alison, by writing what you did I KNOW you will help women who are at home and reading this, believing that perhaps they'll never get better, or they'll never want to leave their house again. Your story will give someone the ability to take a step -- just one step -- today.
I think this sentence is so important:
"The main idea that helped me was proving to myself that my friends would be there for me if anything would happen to me, true or not, and that if they weren't or couldn't be that I was stronger and smarter than to let fear take over my life."
That sentence carries so much weight. It means that bit by bit, you learned to find tools for yourself that would work for you. It doesn't -- and can't -- happen overnight. But it is possible.
If there are others reading who need more information, Empowher has an excellent page on agoraphobia, its symptoms, risk factors, treatments and prevention:
http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/agoraphobia
Take care, anon, and let us hear from you again!
March 30, 2009 - 9:07amAnxiety disorders are astonishingly common. They include Panic, Phobias (including Agoraphobia and Social Phobia), Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, and Generalised Anxiety Disorder. For many people self-help is a viable way forward and this is why we wrote our book Free Yourself from Anxiety. We aim to show you, step-by-step, how to set up and follow an individually tailored self-help programme.
Part one looks at lifestyle, because very often the way you live is contributing to Anxiety. By making simple changes you can get yourself fit and ready to tackle your Anxiety driven behaviours.
Part two shows you how to challenge your Anxiety in a safe controlled way, by setting small goals that take you gradually towards letting go of anxious behaviours.
Part three shows you how to recognise your anxious thinking, challenge it, and ultimately change it.
Part four explains how to delve into some of the deeper issues that may be driving Anxiety. We also suggest where it might be appropriate for you to seek professional help.
Our aim in this book is to be as comprehensive as possible. Each reader will be able to decide which aspects of the recovery programme they need to complete and which are not relevant to them. In addition we have only discussed proven safe techniques.
Throughout the book we have used the words of Anxiety sufferers who are in various stages of recovery to illustrate our points
The authors
Emma Fletcher is a UK-registered counsellor with 20 years experience of helping anxiety sufferers and of training counsellors and volunteers on anxiety help-lines. She remains firmly committed to the self-help principle and believes that much of her work consists of giving her clients the tools to enable them to live more effectively. This book is an attempt to bring those tools to a wider audience.
Martha Langley is a professional writer and journalist. She has more than 10 years experience as a volunteer on helplines for people dealing with Anxiety and has also been a one-to-one mentor and recovery group leader. This has given her an insight into the difficulties faced by people trying to put self-help techniques into practice. Her aim in Free Yourself from Anxiety was to explain these techniques, to explain the reasoning behind them, and to make practical suggestions that will give every reader the best chance of recovery.
Free Yourself From Anxiety ISBN 978-1- 84528-311-7 is available from bookshops, book websites and Amazon.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Free-Yourself-Anxiety-Self-help-Overcoming/dp/18...
March 31, 2009 - 10:17am