The words "child beauty pageant" sound to me like the words "you're on a vegetarian diet" would sound to Hannibal Lecter.
There have been a few documentaries about these pageants and now several popular shows on TV. I'm not talking about the so-called "natural" pageants where the children wear 'minimal makeup' and have natural hair, although I'm not a huge fan of those either. I'm talking about the popular ones, the ones that most of the kids are entered into. These are the glamour beauty pageants for children that have mothers north and south, vying for their future Miss America to win Miss Grande Belle or Miss Queen of Elegance or Grande Supreme or...[insert any old Trite Title Here]. Not only do the toddlers wear more makeup than Tammy Faye (bless) but they have a swimsuit competition in the pageant. 4 year old girls in bikinis! And then you see the judges - middle aged to older women and men. What exactly are these older men judging? How these children fill out their bikini? Who offered them the job? And why did they take it?
The mothers. The ones running these things are primarily the mothers (although the fathers are often just as proud of their princesses). These overly competitive ladies, living vicariously through their little ones, pushing their sons aside (no sense in wasting time with a kid who doesn't wear mascara, right?) and yelling at the child when she is tired, telling her that coming in second doesn't count and warning her to suck in her belly when she is in her swimsuit and her $500 formal gown.
Incidentally, that was what my wedding dress cost. Like me, most of these kids will only wear it once. Their photos and head shots are airbrushed so much they almost look like cartoons. Unrecognizable from the fresh-faced, freckled cuties they are in real life.
Websites boast that winning these pageants will give the girl the "recognition she deserves." One might think a hug from her parents and a gold star from her teacher would have done that. We want our daughters getting recognition for their kindness, their efforts and hard work, and for their sportsmanship and artistic endeavors. Not from being thin in a swimsuit and nervously wailing "Summertime" while Mom mouths the words of the song from the back of the audience.
The entrance fees are enough to feed a family for a week and the prize money is often far less than the cost of entry with costumes.
So then what's the point of these events? The point is that Mom wants to win. Which means her daughter has to win. And these Moms get what they want.
These beauty pageants are big business. Gowns costing up to one thousand dollars, year round coaches and travel, hotel and entrance fees. Not to mention the hairspray, the hair extensions and the false teeth. The false teeth that their moms swear are necessary. A 6 year old with a missing tooth is unacceptable in these high beauty stakes.
The spray tans are done a couple of days in advance so that they have time to settle. The girls need to look bronzed in their swimsuits and evening wear.
It just wouldn't be right for a Caucasian four year old to look, well, Caucasian. Or indeed, to look like a four year old.
HBO made a documentary several years ago called "Living Dolls - The Making of a Child Beauty Queen." It won an Emmy and is worth watching. VH1 also made a documentary called "Little Beauties: Ultimate Kiddie Queen Showdown". The title says enough.
The mothers were pretty open about their kids having to "shake it" on the runway. It's part of the job. It's expected.
We talk about how "other cultures" keep their women down, don't let them have rights and force them into a life of subservience.
I wonder how those "other cultures" would feel, watching us trot our 3 year olds out in bikinis and makeup, hair weaves and false teeth. With Mom to the side, mouthing at her to "work it, baby!" and "strut your stuff" as her young child wiggles her bottom and grins at the judge old enough to be her grandfather.
So how are we more advanced? How are we more caring and cultured and nurturing? How are we smarter?
In this context, we're not. Child beauty pageants (the "glamour" type) are not something that most parents do. Most parents are against them. But there are enough parents in this business of baby beauty to makes us ponder childhood. The parents that are involved are avowedly so. They swear blind that their child suggested entering the contest and that she is a natural and loves it - even though she first entered at 6 months old. Apparently the child is also outstandingly advanced for her age.
Mom insists she'd quit the whole thing if she even suspected that her kid wasn't happy. But when Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and her little Princess knows it.
And so she sucks in her gut, fixes her wig and makes sure her mascara isn't running. And it's off to the runway to show her mom that she's worth it.
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Add a Comment14 Comments
Thanks Susan for your share. I completely agree with Alison-- I've yet to see the positive benefits in having your child in a beauty pageant. Sure, there is a positive for the mom if she has a child that wins a lot of trophies for her but even that child is destined to lose at one point her life. What happens to all the trophies she won before that, though? Do they mean nothing to that child because there's someone out there who is better than them? I'll be damned if I tell my beautiful daughter that people will be judging her based on how cute she is. We wonder why women have self esteem issues and yet we submit our children to these pageants. Beauty pageants, in my eyes, are only acceptable once the child is old enough to understand & recognize what she's getting herself into and can decide for herself whether she wants to go through with it or not. Until then, I don't need to place my daughter under such scrutiny for a reward that is really just temporary.
Rosa
August 2, 2011 - 5:08amThis Comment
and on the comment "if they lose, do they feel bad in life." IF YOU LOSE A GAME?? DO YOU QUIT THE SPORT...?
July 16, 2010 - 12:02pmThis Comment
Some of do not know what you are talking about at all. There are several pageants where the child is just judged on beauty, dress, and dance/talent. It's fun to most of them!! It's quality time w/ mom or whoever helps put together the performance && they win scholarships that can be put in a trust fund/ savings until they're 18/ of age for college or etc. I do not agree w/ some parents making them practice to perfection; however, it is an excellent experience..MOST of them time, whether they win / or not.. they even go home w/ a trophy && crown && sometimes even a little check. I hate when people down pageants and NOT know the full-story! Some parents over-do..just like some dads do to their son who plays soccer/basketball..but its just like anything else in life! Hopefully this informed you a little more. They're not all full of half-naked, fake faced, airbrushed bodies!
July 16, 2010 - 11:57amThis Comment
I have to admit that I just don't understand the whole thing. And while television shows about anything can't really be classified as "reality," when their subjects are adults, I have no problem with it. I have seen snippets of TLC's "Toddlers and Tiaras" and I have to flip away. Pageants teach kids at a young age that being "pretty" and "sexy" is what is most valuable about them. If they win, they succeed, if they lose, they fail. What toddler or 6-year-old needs to learn this? Will the little girls who "lose" feel badly about themselves throughout their growing-up years?
June 23, 2010 - 8:25amThis Comment
Regarding the arguments about beauty pageants and sports. I think its the atmosphere that that builds the child up or beats the child down. That is true no matter where you go.
There are many great pageant systems out there that will NOT tolerate the psycho pageant moms you see on TV, bad sportsmanship, and have strict rules about make up, and the enhancements. (Put a few DCFS officials in some of the dressing rooms, and there would be a big change REAL quick!). Even the good glitz pageant systems are very strict about how the girls are treated and sportsmanship.
I was in sports when I was a kid; I never did pageants. I competed in nationals. Same was true here. There were some tournaments ranging from Tennis to TaeKwonDo that were a great experience and others that were horrible because of the parents/coaches/etc. (Although in TaeKwonDo, the parents wont get into a fist fight with the judges/referees!)
June 21, 2010 - 6:51amThis Comment
My daughter is 20 months old and does pageants. She may wear a fancy dress, but she does NOT wear make up, fake teeth, fake hair, fake eyelashes, and my baby does not even have her ears peirced. She most certainly does not "shake it" on stage. I agree that is completely over the top. She has supremed, grand supremed and beaten the girls in full make up (without a single stitch of make up...not even clear lip gloss). Im conservative. Granted we have only done local and state pageants. We are getting ready to do nationals. If we lose because we dont wear make up; well, so be it. Little girls should look like little girls. Baby girls should look like baby girls. She is my last baby and I am not in any hurry to make her grow up any faster than what she is already.
June 21, 2010 - 6:37amThis Comment
Apparently it’s acceptable in the United States to dress toddlers up like full grown women and parade them on a stage in their swimsuits so they can be rated on their body, face and outfit by a panel of judges. This is not only a waste of time but it’s totally twisted. I sure these pageants are swarming with dirty old men too.
August 19, 2009 - 1:44pmThis Comment
The argument that t-ball is degrading because some kids are in the outfield vs. beauty pageants being deemed as "OK" because it is pricey and fake is interesting, to say the least!
If we assume the BEST in both scenarios: the team sport and beauty pageant is based on cooperation, encouragement and skill-building. Both are based on coach and parent support and positive, child-centered teaching. (Because, yes, we all agree there are crazy parents in both scenarios)
- There are many studies showing that sports builds confidence and self-esteem in young children. Yes, learning skills like hitting a ball and catching a ball are important, and helps build a healthy foundation for children to be interested in team/individual sports and physical activity. There is team camaraderies, friendships and by the way...being in the outfield is not a BAD thing! :-) I've played every position in t-ball, slow-pitch and fast-pitch softball, and center field and 2nd base are both equally difficult!
Research also shows a link between participating in sports and higher grades, as well as better behavior, both in school and out. Sports can help teach children life skills such as how to communicate, commit and collaborate.
I have only heard the negative aspects of beauty pageants, and the research studies that comes to mind are related to girls and beauty magazines: the more exposed girls were to "picture perfect" models and unrealistic expectations of perfect beauty, the more their self-esteem plummeted. So, ,when you speak of pageants being "OK" because they are based on being fake...and if everyone is fake it's OK because they are on the same playing field?!...then it's really not OK, right? There is still competition of who has the BETTER fake tan and fake smile and fake confidence. Self-esteem is going to plummet if ALL that the child is exposed to as their self-worth has to do with their looks.
I would love to hear from parents who have their children in beauty pageants who also enrich their child's life in other ways; help them maintain self-esteem in their intelligence, social skills...and that it is OK if they are not picture perfect.
September 28, 2008 - 7:58pmThis Comment
you don't see anything inherently wrong with t-ball? With degrading certain children by putting them in the outfield and watching them pick dandelions while the "good chidren" play first base? You don't see anything wrong with a system where a child learns it's worth by his or her ability to hit a ball off a stick or catch a ball? At least in the beauty pageant sinario, because really,none of it is real, anyone willing to pay the price for the fake tan and the fake hair and the fake confidence and the fake talent is on fairly level ground.
September 28, 2008 - 11:44amThis Comment
I cannot accept the sports analogy. Clearly, if there is anything demeaning or dangerous about a sport, I think a parent should take their child out, and that isn't done nearly often enough. However, I don't see anything inherently inappropriate about teaching tots to play soccer or t-ball.
I DO see something (many things!) inherently inappropriate about many of these pageants. First, to display little girls like grown women is unacceptable in my eyes. There is no need for a child to wear a woman's makeup, a woman's swimwear, a woman's gown and to take on the affects of a fully grown woman. These children are taught bedroom eyes and sexual and flirtatious walks, talks and postures.
They are also taught to value looks over all else. How else could one realistically argue for fake tans, fake teeth, full makeup and age-inappropriate clothing? If these parents or pageants were interested in cultivating talent and poise, none of those things would be necessary.
I am sure there are some casual, non-competitive, girls-playing-dress-up beauty contests for kids. I don't have any issue with those. But no sane parent could compare those to the national, ultra-competitive pageants. A crazed parent is never a good thing, whether it is in regards to sports or grades. But a crazed parent intent on having their preschooler look and act like a prostitute is a whole different ballgame as far as I am concerned.
April 30, 2008 - 5:51pmThis Comment