At first I would think that the most embarrassing part of a colonoscopy would be telling a new boyfriend or a new date why I must go into hermit mode for a few days.
“Ummm, well I have to swallow some stuff, sit on the toilet, and then get this thing shoved….”
Nope. Not the most embarrassing.
For the first few colonoscopies I have, I believed the worst part was the day of prep. It is bad enough that I must get one every year to check for Crohn’s flair ups, but the prepping was just a nightmare.
Turns out – not the worst part.
I had begun to come to terms with the idea that I would have to go through this procedure every year. After all, it was becoming more socially acceptable – many adults and those at risk of colon cancer do it. Most Crohn’s patents I know have the checkup as part of their regimen, and even my bosses were very understanding when I needed the time off work to get the procedure. Heck, I even liked the fact that once a year I lost five pounds in a day.
What I was not prepared for was the shock and embarrassment of this year’s colonoscopy.
I had a new doctor. Said new doctor was gorgeous. Note to self – if Doctor is more McDreamy than McEw - switch doctors for any procedures involving getting naked and shoving cameras up places.
My yearly prep goes by without a hitch and I enter the outpatient center the morning of my procedure. In walks Dr. McDreamy and (yes this gets worse) his even more gorgeous assistant. My nightmares are coming true. Interns and doctors who I would rather date are about to shove a camera up my behind to check for any Crohn's flair ups.
I am pretty sure my tush was blushing. Did I mention Dr. Dreamboat calls it a tush?
However, the mature person than I am, decided to put all blushing aside and just hope the procedure goes smoothly so I can get out of there.
I woke up, sore and groggy praying I would not have to face my doctors again. Luckily it was the nurses from there on out and I managed to get through the rest of the day with no run ins and minimal blushing.
Another year. Another colonoscopy. Another chance that maybe this year it could come back, which thankfully it didn’t.
I vow to keep watching my diet, staying healthy and do nothing to aggravate my stomach for the following year. That...and make sure to switch doctors.
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