A good friend of mine sent this to me in an email today and I found myself laughing as I read through this. I for one know these are all true and I had a feeling that many of you would relate as well, so I wanted to share them here.
It's interesting how we as women communicate, isn't it? Maybe we need to say what we really feel? Could cause us less stress and allow us to live healthier, happier lives.
here is the email:
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house...
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine..
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.
* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.
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Does your hubby let you sleep in on other days? Or, if you don't like to sleep in, then can you "swap" his two mornings for two nights when you aren't responsible for dinner/dishes/bath/bedtime?
My hubby and I alternate who sleeps in: he gets Sunday and I get Saturday. (Our "sleeping in" is until 8:30am...it's hard to really sleep with a loud toddler in the house!).
Twice a week, I'm off bath and bed duty. I still make dinner. Twice a week, my hubby is off bath and bed duty. The other three nights we eat together as a family. It works perfectly, because some of our "nights off" we still are at home, just not "responsible", so we both get a break!
And, doesn't happen like this every week, but at least two out of four weeks we are able to stick to this schedule. I can go to a book store, stay home and "veg" in front of TV guilt-free, go to an aerobics class, or just stay in my bed and read a book. It's wonderful! And, my hubby loves it, too!
So, I guess I would talk him with what you would like to do for yourself, whether it's sleep in every-other weekend, or have a few nights off every week that he sleeps in on the weekends.
And, as far as the approach, I would tell him that it makes you happy to let him sleep in on the weekends, because he works so hard and any other compliments (that are real) that you would sincerely like to add...and that it's important for each member of the family to have some "me time" in a healthy relationship. Say that you would like some "me time" in the form of that is also guilt-free.
Good luck with your talk---let us know how it goes!
January 25, 2009 - 6:17pmThis Comment
Oh Lordy, isn't this just the truth? I confess to being really guilty of #5 and also #9 (bigtime!)
I was just wondering today why I can be pretty darn good at communicating with and getting what I need from my friends, people who work in stores, and even medical folks, etc., but when it comes to telling my dear hubby what I need I'm suddenly clueless. It's a combination of things--I think he should automatically know (big mistake, I know!!) and then I also am reticent to say anything. But why is this? he's a wonderful man and would certainly be at least reasonably fine with anything I was requesting, so why don't I do it?
My first goal is to talk to him about his habit of sleeping in on weekends, which he's done for 17 years. It was fine when we didn't have kids but now that we have 2 active boys I'm tired (literally!) of getting up early with them while he is in snoozeville. But to bring it up is hard for me so I end up saying nothing and feeling very crabby.
I agree with you Michelle--if we could just say what we feel we would all be so much happier and healthier. Any suggestions on how to approach dear hubby would be more than welcome!
January 24, 2009 - 10:49pmThis Comment