Most often it is the fear and low self-esteem that make women suffer in silence. The abuser did his job, ruining her self-esteem, making her lose faith in herself, making her fear him and forcing her to respect him. He made her feel guilty for the abuse he committed. Abusers use words like: “You see what you made me do?”, “You know you deserved this”. This is a way of making a woman believe that she is the problem, that she pushed him to do it, that he had a reason. VIOLENCE IS NEVER OK! Always have this in mind. The first step to liberation is to stop blaming yourself. As Melanie Tonia Evans says: When you replace Rejection of Self for Acceptance and Fascination of Self you've turned a very big corner.
Once you understand that it is not your fault you will see his true face. You will recognize how unfair and wrong his actions are and that little seed of rebellion will start growing in you. Questions will start to come to your head: Why am I putting up with this? Why am I living my life like this? This is the beginning of your freedom. You will start understanding his weaknesses. He is afraid of you leaving, he needs you much more than you need him. He needs you to feed his illusions of himself. Once you see his weakness, you will see your strength.
One thing you need to keep in mind is that whatever situation you are in, it is not final. You have complete control over your life and you can change its course in any given time! No one can take away your freedom unless you let them.
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