Have you ever been subjected to a bully or "toxic" person in the workplace? I certainly have! My experience was with an individual I was supervising (which made the situation really tough!) and my job became difficult enough, with no available disciplinary approaches or support, that I eventually left the position. According to a recent NY Times article, 37% of American workers said they had experienced bullying on the job.
What does this have to do with health? Everything!
Workers who are targets of bulling have negative health impacts, including stress-related health consequences (including post-traumatic stress syndrome, fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome), as well as psychological conditions including depression and anxiety.
Even a Science Daily article discusses the impact of verbal victimization and how it can destroy feelings of self-worth, reduce self-esteem, and cause a stressful work environment. The article says, "in fact, verbal abuse can have more impact upon victims' self-worth than physical attacks, such as punching, or attacks on property, such as stealing or the destruction of belongings."
How do you know if you are being bullied at work? According to the Workplace Bullying Institute, there are many factors. The list is long, so I'll just include the factors that related to my specific situation (with my story in italics):
Experiences outside work
1) you feel like throwing up the night before the start of your work week (or, for me, crying every Sunday night, and coming in late Monday morning..even though I was the boss!)
2) your frustrated family demands that you stop obsessing about work at home (my husband was extremely tired of hearing about my story: "same tune, different verse" every night for 6 months. By the time I was finished with "yet another story", we were both too exhausted to share/hear about his day!)
3) all your paid time off is used for "mental health breaks" from the misery (I had to take many hours/days off of work because I couldn't face another day, or I needed to sort out the problem in my head and journal)
4) you begin to believe that you provoked the workplace cruelty (for me, I thought I wasn't a "strong enough" supervisor and was a push-over or "too nice")
Experiences at work
5) what the bully does to you is arbitrary and capricious, working a personal agenda that undermines the employer's legitimate business interests (very true, had nothing to do about work and productivity; she was out to "win" and for me to "lose")
6) you constantly feel agitated and anxious, experiencing a sense of doom, waiting for bad things to happen (I wasn't able to enjoy my many friends and colleagues who were nice, friendly people, as I was wondering when the other show would drop, and it was usually when I wasn't prepared..so I felt I had to always be on guard and protect myself)
7) no matter what you do, you are never left alone to do your job without interference (I was harassed by overloading me on email questions--20 per day--, multiple phone calls/hour, or "needing" a meeting with me, and if I denied a meeting, I was scolded because I met with another one of my employees and not her)
8) HR tells you that your harassment isn't illegal, that you have to "work it out between yourselves". (This was a big one for me! I created performance improvement plans, approved by HR, but when she did not meet the criteria, it still was not "severe enough" to fire her.)
8) everyone -- co-workers, senior bosses, HR -- agrees that your tormentor is a jerk, but there is nothing they will do about it (This was very true; many bosses, co-workers and patients complained about this person, but when I asked them to speak up, they weren't comfortable or felt threatened themselves)
The NY Times reported that this month, "researchers at the University of Manitoba reported that the emotional toll of workplace bullying is more severe than that of sexual harassment. And in today’s corporate culture, supervisors may condone bullying as part of a tough management style".
This topic is serious enough that new legislation is being looked at, as "antibulling bills" (referred to as "healthy workplace" legislation).
What is your story regarding adult bullies? Tell us what you experienced, and how you handled the situation. Did the bullying create a toxic work environment for you and others? How did it effect your health and well-being?
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I worked for a female recruiter a year ago and she still to this day continues to follow me in off time and to speak with people at my current position. I suspected that she was still in the shadows so I told several co-workers my plans on a Saturday night - and she showed up! Apparently she does not have a happy home life - she says that her husband goes out on her and she has a pretty daughter who unfortunately has some learning disabilities. However, this is nobodys fault and she should be the adult and realize this! She has worked her way up to a pretty well-known position (everyone has quit through the years and she has maintained and gained in her job) Very sad that women treat other women this way. A very uneducated individual with a small mind who enjoys afflicting pain on others. Sad.
July 30, 2008 - 5:51pmThis Comment
This is a very important and useful topic in the field of Well-Being. Thanks for starting it, Alison.
Bullying from subordinates is quietly discussed in Japan. It is rampant. Japanese organizations are usually top down dictatorships. The infamous consensus ("nemawashi") in the system is useful in collecting information and rallying opinion but do not mistake that for who tells who what to do without question.
In response, subordinates invest tremendous amounts of energy into elaborate schemes to harrass their bosses. They even use the consensus model to rally support behind themselves and enact schemes where the initial source is effectively covered.
On the other side, management style is often to belittle and yell at subordinates. Subordinates carry out (or covertly don't carry out) instructions from their bosses. The heavy drinking that goes on at the end of the day in Japan is a symptom of having no open outlet to respond to this constant pressure.
My theory is that subordinates' harassment of their bosses is a reaction to their feeling of being powerless.
My solution, as a CEO in Japan based organizations, was to provide regular open forums, gathering employees by department (but without the boss of the department), small groups and one on one, to elicit and let them voice their concerns and opinions. It was important to keep the level of the group similar because if their boss is in the room, many Japanese employees will not speak up.
http://itsdifferent4girls.com/blog
July 8, 2008 - 11:04amInternational Women’s Lifestyle, Work & Empowerment by Linda Sherman
This Comment
#8 was so very true at one particular client site. I loved my job. I was on a small team of people with whom I had worked before, plus we are good friends and trust each other's skills implicitly. We had handful of exciting, cutting edge projects for which I had been hired for my special expertise.
There was only one problem: a permanent full-timer who had been moved from one department to ours because she had nowhere else to go or be laid off. Our new boss, a new Director with the company, didn't know her history and accepted her without question. He later expressed regret that he never asked the important questions (did she have the skills and qualifications, how well she worked with others, etc.). This woman whined, complained, tormented, bullied - you name it! She was extremely jealous of my experience, expertise and the respect I had nearly instantly gained of the "powers that be," and did everything she could to make my life, and my buddies' lives, miserable. But, HR and our Director were afraid to touch her for fear she'd try to sue (who cares on what basis, she's a female/minority).
We all ended up leaving. She's still there and completely destroyed everything we worked so hard to build for the company. It's really sad, and I got wind that she bad-mouthed me to a new guy in the company who has some influence in my professional circle. The good thing is that I still have my influential allies who knew me at that company.
Moral of the story: bullies really can't win. You may end up leaving a job you love, but you go to a happier place, while the bully remains stuck in her own mud. It doesn't take too long for people to see her true colors and the bad karma simply follows her around. It's always best to just move on and be done with things.
July 1, 2008 - 4:35pmThis Comment
Wow, this is an enlightening post. When I think of bullying, I think of kids in jr. high and high school. I guess I've been lucky not to have experienced bullying in the workplace. I imagine it would be a nightmare.
I have encountered sexual harrassment, though, way back in 1990 when I was working for a large Texas savings bank that was eventually bought by Bank of America. I worked in the corporate office with several hundred other employees, so I was a little fish in an ocean. A man in a high level position started hanging out by my cubicle and then started giving me things as gifts, like books, which I always gave back. When he started following me through the parking lot to my car every evening, things got weird, and I eventually went to H.R. with a sexual harrassment complaint.
This whole time, over a period of a few months, I got so stressed that I'd throw up in the mornings before I had to leave the house for work. I couldn't sleep. I was a newlywed and I didn't tell my husband about it for a long time because I feared that he would think it was my fault -- that I was flirting with the guy and causing it. (When I did finally tell him, his reaction was what I'd feared.)
In the end, H.R. handled the situation by making the guy move his office to a new location so he would be way across the building from me. I was so relieved until I found out where he was moved. Ironically, his new office was located just a couple of doors down from the ladies room.(!) I always had to pass by him. The stress continued so I decided to leave the bank a few weeks later. I hated to leave a job that I enjoyed but I felt I had no choice.
I'm glad to hear about the possible anti-bullying legislation. Like sexual harrassment, it sounds like it needs to be addressed on a legislative level. Thanks for bringing up this very worthy topic!
July 1, 2008 - 2:57pmThis Comment
Alison, I cannot tell you how much I welcome this post and sometimes I'm shocked at how much dysfunction is tolerated in work environments. I'm so sorry that you had a bullying employee. And I honestly have to say that the New York Times number of 37 percent may be a little low. I would say about half the people I know have been very vocal about being bullied at work and I assume others have probably been quiet.
I think one of the most important considerations for people who are being bullied is not to fall into what a relative described to me as 'scarcity syndrome' -- or thinking that there are no other options. There are plenty of jobs available for hard-working team players. I know it's hard to stay optimistic under those circumstances, but the reality of it is there are plenty of other options available. And life is too short to not enjoy at least 40 of our waking hours.
July 1, 2008 - 2:17pmThis Comment