Fall has arrived in Michigan. The air is crisp and my kids are back in school. This time of year always seems to leave me in a funk. While I long for routine and time to myself in the summer, lately I have just felt, well, out of it. It doesn’t help that my allergies are at there worst in the fall, bringing daily sinus headaches
to contend with. Regardless, it seems as though it takes me a while to get into my fall groove. I need to find the balance between too much and not enough. In years past I have said yes to too many things and find that workouts don’t get done and I am not keeping up with the basics like good dinners and laundry.
I wonder why it is so easy to put everything else in front of taking care of myself. Is it because I don’t earn any money doing it? Or maybe that no one else benefits? Is it that I don’t recognize the value of it? Or that frankly I would prefer to do something else? Let’s face it - cooking, cleaning, and working out, they are not very exciting. And yet, when I do them I feel good. I know that I am doing my best to keep my family and myself healthy.
Maybe I need a schedule, a real plug-in-the-time kind of schedule. It could be different everyday so that it wouldn’t seem so boring. I could include time to work, to exercise, to eat well, and to be with my family. I could set some goals and work to achieve them. I could, I could, I could…
Part of my problem is that I am a one-track mind kind of girl. I love to set a goal and get it done. I may not eat during that time or even shower, but my project will be complete. I don’t enjoy the process necessarily, but I love to get results. This works well for me in some respects, but other times not so much.
Being a breast cancer survivor is a life long process, especially when you have an advanced disease like I do. It isn’t going away and as far as I’m concerned my body requires attention every day to stay strong. So I need to learn how to enjoy the components that build me up and allow me to live fully. I need to focus on the value of a good workout and a good meal. I need to praise myself for doing something right to still be here after ten years.
I think I’ll start with the rest of the week. I’ll make a plan and stick to it. I will give myself some wiggle room, but not let things slide. I will try to anticipate things ahead of time so I do not have to do last minute things.
So enough of the funk, it is time to get rolling. I am blessed to have the time to work on me and so I will use it. Maybe someday I will enjoy the process, not just the results. Then again maybe I won’t.
ABOUT HEATHER JOSE:
Diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer at 26, Heather Jose chose to fight the cancer head on putting together a plan to battle cancer on a daily basis. Nine years later Heather is healthy and using her experiences to reach healthcare providers and patients about how much their actions and words can impact success.
Heather is the author of “Letters to Sydney: Every Day I am Killing Cancer” and a contributing writer for the Breast Cancer Wellness Magazine. Heather also blogs at www.GoBeyondTreatment.com and www.Mlive.com/health. Jose lives in Michigan with her husband, children, and pets.
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