We have been dating for a year and a half now, and in the beginning we would have sex multiple times a day. Now we only have sex like once a month.we love each other very much, however the lack of sex is really worrying me and not making me feel sexy at all. he was my first sexual partner and a few month after the first time I had sex i started having a light white discharge. i was checked out and i dont have any sort of disease, the doctor said its a natural hormonal discharge that many women have, and there isnt much I can do about it... (i've tried various types of birth controls, and although some make it lighter than others.. none have "cured" it). The white discharge isnt alway there either. I really feel like this grosses him out.. even though he always makes other excuses (like being tired, etc). I really dont know what to do and It hurts. Im not sure if he can accept it as something natural that a lot of women go through. Help.. i really need advice on what to do..
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I'm mostly just self conscious about it... we have talked about it and he knows that I went to see a doctor about it... we're pretty open about our relationship. but just the fact that we haven't been having sex as often is making me feel like the discharge might be turning him off and hes not telling me because he's scared of hurting my feelings or something.... either way i would like to know if there's some reason that he doesn't want to have sex very often anymore. I'm not saying that I need sex for the relationship to work or anything, I just don't know if this is something I should worry about or not.
April 11, 2010 - 2:05pmThis Comment
Kelly,
It's pretty normal for the frequency of sex to go down in a longterm relationship. The rush of dating has worn off, and all the other things about life enter into the situation -- work, friends, finances, stress. The television is on, the computer pulls us in. We could have sex tonight, but we're tired, and we could do it tomorrow just as well.....
Sound familiar at all? Some of it may be attributed to some of the above situations. Or, you might be right, he might be turned off by the discharge. Unfortunately, there's just no way to know that without him telling you.
My suggestion? You have to ask. But don't do it in bed, or in the evening when you're tired. Wait for a Saturday lunch or a Sunday afternoon. Sit in the sun at a little cafe, or find a booth in the back that's intimate. Enjoy each other's company. Talk about regular things. And then at one point, scoot a little closer, and just ask about it. Say you miss the way you used to have sex more often, and ask if anything's going on with him. See what he says, and go from there.
April 12, 2010 - 10:33amThis Comment