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Dear Anon

Thanks for your question and welcome!!

I suppose you can only "tell" if your relationship is going well, and sex is enjoyable for both of you.
You can always ask him (in a friendly, non-confrontational way) if he's happy the way things are, if he'd like to spice things up a bit or loves things as is. His general demeanor will often let you know if he's happy all-round. Like, does he initiate sex? Does he communicate with you well, and does he smile, treat you well and want to spend time with you?

Does he? Is there a particular reason you are asking about this?

Hi Anon

If you mean you have accidentally found him masturbating (by saying "doing his own thing") then this is a natural act that really doesn't need an intervention or to be stopped.

But if he is rarely initiating sex and never seems to want it, then obviously there's a problem.

The problem itself is impossible to detect without talking to him. He may be ill, he may be depressed or he may be disinterested in sex with you due to having another relationship with someone else. We really can't say as we're not privy to what may be going on with him, I wish it were otherwise. People lose interest in sex with their partner for so many reasons and I know it's very difficult for their partners to figure things out, especially if he is not communicating effectively.

Do you think he is open to talking about this to you? Are you open to bringing up the subject in a non-confrontational way? I know it's not an easy subject to broach. If you want some tips and to read what other women have said due to sharing the same experience - please click here, I think it'll help you a lot : http://www.empowher.com/community/ask/why-doesnt-my-boyfriend-want-have-...

Will you let us know what you think? There is help for this situation and all is not lost! Please read through that thread and give us your input on things!