Poor self-esteem and low confidence can have a huge impact on how a child mentally develops, in how they interact with other students at school and how they do academically in school. It could cause marks to fall, cause depression to develop, cause one to become withdrawn and lead to problems in developing the social life. Parents can work with their children to deal with low self-esteem and poor confidence so that the children can have a more positive experience at school. Helping them to build their confidence can go a long way to improving their marks and to better prepare them for their transition from child to adult.
It is clear that a caring parent would want to help their child to build good self-esteem and a higher level of confidence, but many will wonder how this can be done. There are a number of things that parents can do that can help in building a child’s confidence up. First, a parent can try and provide opportunities for their child to do something successfully. Putting effort into something and being successful at it will do a lot to boost a child’s confidence because they feel they have the ability to do something right. They will feel that if they can do that successfully, then they could probably accomplish other things successfully. Building a child’s confidence also means doing one’s best to make them feel safe and secure in their home, as well as to feel confident in themselves. They need to be able to trust in their own judgments and feel that they can easily make the right decisions on their own. Praise and encouragement will also go a long way in building a child’s confidence, because it makes them feel good about themselves and, again, they feel that they can do something right. Working on building a child’s confidence will also require some patience, because a lack of patience on the parent’s part will only push the child away.
While parents can do their best to help their child to build confidence and good self-esteem at home, helping to build the confidence and self-esteem in the school atmosphere can be difficult because they can’t be there. What they can do is to show understanding and support for their child and help them to deal with difficulties at school as best as they can; however, if things at school get a little too out of control to the point where the child appears to be developing some depression, they should think about online therapy. It is not uncommon for children with low self-esteem and confidence to be bullied at school or to have difficulty in developing a social life. Contacting an online therapist who can talk with the child can give the child the chance to clearly express the difficulties they are experiencing at school. Through online counseling, the online therapist will then work with the child to learn how to deal with the issues at school, as well as help them become more confident in themselves while dealing with the issues.
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There's one in every crowd, and it's usually the kid with the least self esteem trying to prove something to people who couldn't care less. My boys were taught to not strike back with fists, but to baffle with B.S. It throws the bully off balance by not getting the reaction he's expecting.
One day, my sons were getting off the school bus and one of the neighborhood kids, a real pain in the rear, decided to target my older son with the most foul language I've ever heard. The bus driver couldn't control the kid, but told him to get off at the same stop as my boys, which happened to be directly across the street from our house. So, since I was working from home at the time, I got to hear all the commotion and saw the kid grab my son, who was a year younger and a bit smaller, by the back of his pants.
My son got out of the kid's grip and whipped around in a face-off stance, then came up with some off-the wall question that made everyone else around crack up in laughter. The bully had no response, by then I was standing across the street and seen by the kid (whose mom was an acquaintance of mine), and his buddies dragged him away. My son was known by his principals and teachers for having the sort of "Grasshopper" approach to conflict. It didn't always save him from being the receiving end of physical blows, but his calm and control and that he never struck back did make an impression on the folks who mattered. The bullies inevitably ended up getting expelled. Oh, and that kid on the bus - his parents showed up at my door claiming that my son started a fight with their son. It just so happened that my son's friends were there to tell them otherwise. Their kid wasn't seen on the bus again (and the parents later divorced, leading me to believe there was something behind their son's behavior).
The moral of the story is that, you can reinforce how much you love your child all you want to. BUT, they still need to know that they can hold their own against their pesky adversaries at school in a non-violent manner. These days, those adversaries could be carrying weapons. That is an unfortunate reality.
July 23, 2008 - 4:55pmThis Comment
I think you need to give yourself and your family some of the credit here, but yes your son took all the information in and used it the correct way. It is sad to realize that the minute we see a bully, we can judge, but as your example pointed out, there is always more to the story. I only hope you son grows up and has kids and teaches his kids and then you can continue the cycle.
Jennifer Baxt, NCC, DCC
July 23, 2008 - 5:04pm]]>[email protected]]]>
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Good question!
The bully issue is a big one in our schools today. Bullies come from agressive parents that pass their aggression down to their children and the children that are bullied are the passive ones. The kids that get bullied will eventually become the bullies if it is not dealt with yet.
I believe that this article speaks to this issue that you need to build self confidence in your children. The bullies pick the weak ones and the ones that are easiest to get too. If your child has a healthy self-esteem, then the bully will over look them.
Talk to your kids, make sure they know that they are loved and can talk to you ABOUT ANYTHING. As hard as it might be, do not judge, just LISTEN and let them know that they are loved unconditionally and they will build the self confidence to keep bullies away.
Jennifer Baxt, NCC, DCC
July 23, 2008 - 11:13am]]>[email protected]]]>
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How would you advise parents to help a child dealing with bullies? This is a topic of conversation that's come up in the past on our boards and I think women could benefit from your solutions.
July 23, 2008 - 11:02amThis Comment