I have hypothyroid, depression, sexuality and migraine, asthma.
I have been seeking happiness and well-being throughout my adult life related to these issues. Migraines have diminished as I enter menopause (as they did for my mother). When I do suffer a migraine, the only treatment that has ever worked for me is chiropractic.I was diagnosed hypothyroid, for no clear reason, in my early twenties. I took Armour thyroid with great results for many years. Then a doctor switched me to synthroid, which was a very uncomfortable transition.Eventually I adjusted but have always felt it was less than optimal, but my test results indicate all is normal. Depression runs in my family and was triggered and re-activated by an abusive childhood. I have been a seeker, a reflective and an introspective person since childhood and sought many different types of therapy to help me through. In my late teens and early twenties I suffered from bulemia which I ultimately resolved in my early thirties with a self-help group that focused on getting in touch with actual hunger and was very liberating. I feel released from this and its hard for me to recall the intense cravings and obsessions I used to have around food. I love to eat, but the addiction is gone. I've always been a dancer, excerciser so I've remained normal weight for most of my adult life. Depression has been a struggle and the issue was helped when better pharmacology solutions came on the market. I was on zoloft, but this increased my migraines and made my hair fall out. I was on serzone with excellent results until it became black boxed. Then effexor, which never fully seemed right. Now I'm on Pristtiqe, and feel great. The sexuality pice is my final frontier. I avoided dealing with it in part because I went from one bad relationship/marriage to the next. At 51 I fell in love for the first real time in my life (I'd boomeranged from brief relationships with men I could have loved but wasnt ready for to dysfunctional relationships that mirrored my childhood family relationships). I'm in a very happy place. And, I have a loving, kind supportive partner whose also a best friend. I'm ready to deal with the sexuality (secondary anorgasmia w/ partner). Looking for assistance in this area. Throughout all this, I have a great career as an educator and am an optimistic and spiritual person.
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Sasha,
Welcome to EmpowHer! Thank you so much for writing, and for your question.
I am so impressed with your lifelong journey, especially with your ability to keep seeking better solutions for yourself when previous ones aren't working for whatever reason. Many of the things you have dealt with are enough to get some people incredibly stuck -- thyroid issues and depression, for instance -- and the struggle to find the right medicine or the right treatment can be demotivating and discouraging. You clearly have an ability to see through the fog, when it exists, to seek something better. I admire that so much.
In regards to the sexuality, first of all I want to ask whether you are sure that it is not caused by any of your medicines? You have dealt with many different medicines over the years and some of them definitely have an affect on the libido (especially anti-depressants).
For others who are reading this, primary anorgasmia means that a person has never had an orgasm at all. Secondary anorgasmia means that at one point you were able to, but you aren't able to now.
Sasha, are you able to reach orgasm through masturbation? You mention that you suffer from this "w/partner," but I want to be sure. When you were able to orgasm in the past, was it with your partners?
Please let us know a little more so we can be truly helpful. In the meantime, we do have some information on the site that might give you a start:
http://www.empowher.com/media/reference/treating-sexual-problems
http://www.empowher.com/media/video/v-ideo-when-sex-isnt-good-what-sexua...
Dear Sasha,
Congrats on being a survivor!!! It is not easy, but you continue to fight and that is so commendable! You are proof that miracles do happen! I have experienced similar physical and emotional issues. My family has a history of depression, migraines and thyroid disease. My migraines have lessoned as I have gotten older. I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and thyroid disease, it has been very challenging to deal with the complexity of that little butterfly gland!
Getting a handle on my depression is like trying to hit a moving target! LOL But, I cannot function when my brain is chemically unbalanced. I have been on several types of antidepressants. Years ago while on Effexor, I told my physician that I felt sexually dead inside. For me, a huge part of living a happy and healthy life is a being able to be a sexual being. That sexual component is not an option, it is a necessity. Once Wellbutrin was added, even though I have had to switch antidepressants, Wellbutrin continues to allow me to feel like a sexy woman.
You also mention childhood abuse, I was curious if was it physical, emotional and/or sexual. My personal story includes surviving sexual molestation (at ten years old) and an addiction to prescription pain meds and alcohol. I checked myself into rehab, worked a 12 Step Program and participated in extensive one-on-one therapy. I was trying to kill the pain inside me, but what I was doing… was killing me!
I participated in a ten week course where survivors of sexual abuse would be review “Door of Hope: Recognizing and Resolving the Pains of Your Past” by Jan Frank. It was a very empowering experience for all eight of us who participated. We finally got to share our stories and experiences, but most of all, learned we were not alone. At the conclusion of the course, we chose to get together every week, to let our inner child play and learn. Since we had been robbed of our childhoods, it was very important in our growth process to be a child, we played games, got color books and crayons, and colored outside of the lines, enjoyed creative projects and watched movies like Shrek
Yes, it was a very painful but it was also extremely healing. We learned that we had “extreme behaviors.” As a result of we can develop extreme behaviors such as, being overly critical, inability to urinate in the presence of others, eating disorders, feeling dirty, excessive spending habits, sexual promiscuity, manipulation and psychosomatic disorders. For me, the light bulb kept coming on, it all rang true. I was nodding and agreeing, finally understanding why I reacted in certain ways and have behaviors that others did not understand.
Like you, I am a professional woman who is positive, spiritual and love to laugh. But, I had to learn how to be a spiritual being again. Our journey in life is one of wonder and blessings. I too have struggled with my relationships with men. But, I have done the work and now know what a healthy partner and relationship is. We are very lovable and deserve to have it all. While I continue my search for my love and partner, I never give up and am not afraid.
Knowledge is powerful and so are we!!! Everyone hits bumps in the road, but you ask questions, thus getting information and assistance you need to heal. Sasha, your humility is a wonderful quality and inspires me.
Cheri,
Your story is so inspiring. You, too, have overcome things that would paralyze some people, and you have done so with information, hard work, support and determination. It's inspiring.
You clearly have also been an advocate for yourself with the doctors and professionals in your life. I think that for many people who suffer from past traumas, depression and so on that it's very very difficult to speak out for themselves, especially with "busy" professional people like their doctors.
Thank you so much for writing. Stories like this are exactly what EmpowHer is all about.