We have been married 25 years. The 1st 15 years he was addicted to drugs so I didn't notice the ocpd. The five years after that I was so greatful for the sobriety that the problems seemed small compared to the drug abuse problems. This last five years I have noticed patterns. This last year it is VERY clear we are dealing with OCPD. I feel like I am living in a minefield almost afraid to take a step. This last explosion I made it clear to him I can not take anymore bomb throwing. I also shared with him my belief that he is OCPD. He hasn't researched it but he tended to agree with me. (He knows he has perfectionism tendensies). He says he will do his best to quit bomb throwing. I am wore out - confused - want to help him - want to help me - not sure how to progress - sometimes feel like those bombs put too many holes in me... I beleive in God (Jesus) and the power of prayer. Looking for help - answers - suggestions ........
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You have given me alot to think about. It is hard for me to find the fine line on when to speak up and when to swallow. He doesn't see the need for therapy and wishes everyone else was more like him. When he blows up he (sometimes) takes a step back and can see he has gone too far. I guess you can say he sees the negative and positive with this condition but thinks there are way more positives that far outway the negatives. Thanks for the encouargement. Being able to communicate about this is such a release. If I was going to buy one book on this which one would you suggest?
February 7, 2010 - 1:13pmThis Comment
Read 'Too Perfect', and better yet have the OCPD'r read it. Its short, spot on and has questionaires.
May 13, 2016 - 9:43amThis Comment
I've done an Amazon search on OCPD and came up with a few you might want to consider. I am not an expert on the subject and these books are all different, so instead of picking just one I'd like to give you a link to the list:
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=ocpd&x=0&y=0
The very cool thing about amazon is that there are reader reviews with each book. If you click on the title of a book it will take you to the information about that specific book; scroll down and you will find reader reviews. That always helps me choose which book is best for me. I hope one of these seems perfect for you.
I also found one that is titled "Loving Someone With OCD" -- you might want to take a look at is as well:
http://www.amazon.com/Loving-Someone-OCD-Help-Family/dp/1572243295/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1265653629&sr=8-2
Might you consider going to therapy for yourself? Especially to get some coping skills for those "bombs" that he can throw without notice?
February 8, 2010 - 11:28amThis Comment