I have been married over 30 years to a man I have Left several times and recently asked for a divorce. Now he is in a downward spiral of the last months or years and I am his caregiver.....Everyday blends into the next with and his condition only
gets worse. At 69 I still work partime and have everything on my shoulders. If I
had any love left for him it would be difficult enough to cope but that left several
years ago and sex ended between us a decade ago. No one know what this hell
there somewhere if there is time for me at this stage of my life. He says it does
not make financial sense for me to leave and exserts guilt on me and little to no
appreciation for whatI I do for him or the for what I want from life. Are there any
women out there in this unsolvable situation??? Please I am torn everday on just
packing my bags and running, I know not where too and carring on to an end
that could be years down the road. The depression and guilt is eating me up every day . It seems like no one cares and I have no where to turn.... How do I live a life
that is no longer my own to live..... Anyone please I need help.........K
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Hi Lady desperate,
I can not even begin to understand what you are going through, but I can tell you how amazing it is that you are sharing your story and coming to EmpowHER for help, comfort, advice and support.
I thought you might find it helpful to know that you are not alone. In fact, our founder shared a story a few years ago from a reader seeking advice about living with and possibly leaving a sick spouse. The story, published in 2009, has since received 208 comments from real people sharing their own similar stories and experiences. The most recent was from someone last month.
These stories are incredibly powerful and may interest you. Here is the link to the original story shared by our founder: https://www.empowher.com/community/ask/living-and-possibly-leaving-sick-.... If you scroll down you can read through all the comments.
You seem like a truly caring person. You are not the only one who has felt this way so please do not let the guilt tear you down. I am glad you turned to EmpowHER. I hope through reading these comments, you may find some help or support. Please feel free to reach out to any of the users on the site by personally messaging them. Let me know if you have any trouble doing so or need any further guidance.
I am happy to help however I can.
Best,
July 15, 2013 - 8:36amShana
This Comment
Hi Lady desperate,
It's not healthy for you or him to continue living under the same roof, just for financial needs or because his illness. You need to start living your life and caring about yourself also. Especially if you are feeling this way about staying there. It's absolutely normal for you to want to continue your life and get a divorce if you feel it's needed. You can offer him your friendship and support, even if you are not living together anymore.
Daisy
July 15, 2013 - 4:27amThis Comment