At 42 I am waking up for the first time in my life to truly examine my life after major personal and financial losses. My grief from losing 8 family members over a 3 year period has really enlightened me spiritually, mentally and physically. My husband and I lost our business which caused major legal and financial problems, leading us to file bankruptcy. I became physically ill from the grief for close to a year but am now crawling out of the depths of despair and feel so alive. There are still dark thoughts that cloud my mind but they are diminishing.
Through this experience I feel that I needed these losses in order to feel gratitude for the good things in my life. I have a wonderful husband and beautiful 5 year old daughter that I adore. They are truly what matters most. It worried me that the financial problems reflected on me as a person, but now I realize these failures are not who I am, just a result from choices made. I'm still working on what I want to be when I grow up and that is okay. As my Mom says "life is a journey" and I want to enjoy this road. Sometimes you have to go backward in order to move forward and that is okay, too. The biggest thing I have learned is not to be so hard on myself and others. My mind is much more open spiritually today.
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I'm 42 also and coming up for air after my divorce. I can relate to dealing with major losses and totally agree with you that these kinds of experiences can make us even more resilient as well as better human beings. What/who did you lean on as you traveled your journey to a better place?
Warmest regards,
August 11, 2008 - 11:12amKristin
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Kristen:
August 19, 2008 - 4:46amSorry to hear about your divorce--I know that is a life-changing experience. That type of experience really allows you to open your eyes more fully to how you are living and what direction you might want to take yourself now. To answer your question, I leaned on friends, family and my deepest inner resources. Ultimately, I think everyone has to tap into their center and they will find strength. Daily gratitude is a wonderful motivator as well. Best wishes to you in your new journey!
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kurlymom, Thanks for sharing your strength and wisdom especially in light of your losses. And I agree with you -- life is a journey and sometimes we get caught up in what one of my friends likes to call 'aspirational culture.'
It sounds like you have a strong support system in your immediate family which is wonderful. What outside sources were helpful to you as you weathered the past few years?
August 11, 2008 - 10:20amThis Comment