I was diagnosed with lupus 4 years ago. My story starts earlier.
I was in a very abusive relationship for many years, and it produced the two loves of my life, my beautiful daughters. I left my abusive partner when my youngest was one. Everyone said my life would be sooo much better, and I was excited, I was 33. I rented a house, worked my but off, and hoped for the best. The ex, saw it different. He started stalking me. The courts gave him 4 hours on a Saturday to see the girls to start. Was hell. I can't even describe what that was like. My kids were traumatized when they got home and the youngest was always sick afterward. I should mention my ex is bipolar. Then he focused on me.
Years of me paying for court fees, he never saw the kids after he threatened to kill the court appointed children"s lawyer. He left us alone after they told him he would be deported if he continued to abuse us. Remember being at a bakery with my youngest when she was 4 and had to hide in the back of the bakery cause he came at us, the owners called the police .
My years after were spent working and raising my girls.
They both won major awards through grades 1 to 8
Then my world fell apart
My youngest at 12, my baby, my smart, creative, caring little girl
became her father
she inherited his bipolar
It apparently shows it's ugly head at puberty.
I didn't know.
At the time, I did not know you could inherit this disease, and it is a disease.
It affects everyone.
My mother and I do not speak, because my lovely daughter at 13 told her I used to beat her
and do terrible things to her. My child was a golden girl, why not believe her?
Family and childrens's services started calling me, saying there were complaints.
I was totally in the dark.
I didn't realize it was my daughter that was phoning.
My daughter and I had a seperation for 2 years....she stayed with my mother.
My mother had a heartattack and she came home.
I tried.
She stopped going to school.
She tried living with her dad's parents.
They kicked her out.
she came home again.
Last straw was coming home to her in bed with a guy, while here younger sister was home.
She is on her own now and 20.
I realize, life will always be a battle for my daughters mental health.
I have researched and don't believe, since the brain does not stop growing till 21 that she should be on any meds yet, but, if she does not improve, will beg her to do so.
was diagnosed with lupus, 4 years ago. Stress, is terrible with lupus, but you can't not deal with important issues.
This is gonna sound terrible, but, if I could do it all over again.....don't know if I would.
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Dear Anon,
Wow, I am so sorry to hear about everything you've had to endure. It really does sound like a nightmare. Telling people with Lupus not to stress out is really asking them to do the unavoidable. Unfortunately, stress is a part of life and for some, life is just more stressful than others. Now that your daughters are older, however, it is time to decide whether you are going to focus on them or on your health. This is a tough decision for a mother to make but ultimately, your health is more important.
Is your ex now completely out of your life? I really hope so... it appears that he did enough damage during the time he was around.
I wish you the best and thank you for being so strong to share this with us,
Rosa
February 18, 2013 - 6:41amThis Comment