I am 42 and have been with my partner for 10 years. He asked to marry me 2 years ago which we did 2 months ago. Have I made a mistake?
Over the past few months he has been texting a female relative. I was fine about it because she was family relative and she worked for him. I found leading up to the wedding he was bit more distant. Our wedding day was fabulous and we did look the happiest. The day after the wedding, we were a bit tired, however I asked him for sex, he refused because he said he was too tired. I couldnt believe it. I sat and cryed in the bathroom. I have to say I looked gorgeous and had worked hard for months at the gym to get a fine looking body.
However once the wedding was over, he changed. So few days ago i read his mobile phone bill - there was a lot of texts to this female. I was absolutely devistated. He said he liked her texting him jokes etc and he would return the texts.
I had told him it had to stop otherwise I would definately leave him. He has been really quiet the last few days. He apologised, after asking him to. I asked him if he was clean (for sex) earlier and he said no and carried on watching the tv. Am I being stupid? Is it staring me in the face that he doesnt want me? I will leave him if this continues.
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withheld - Since you've been in this relationship for 10 years, the real issue is whether or not the decade long relationship is worth continuing or not. Since you are still with him and questioning whether or not to leave, you seem to be having trouble making this decision. It would help you to meet with a trained professional counselor who can help you sort through this situation, determine what is best for you in the long run and also help you channel your anger and fears in a productive way. Is there a social worker, mental health professional, spiritual advisor or other objective, trained person who can help you? Also, if you have co-mingled assets there may some legal decisions involved as well and some measures you may need to take to protect yourself, such as removing his name from any joint financial accounts if you decide to leave him.
The decision on what to do is yours and yours alone, but getting help to make that decision will assist you in living with it for the long run.
Good luck to you! Pat
December 16, 2010 - 10:41amThis Comment