Four years ago one Saturday morning in May @ age 34 I found myself standing half naked only wearing my underwear and bra in a bright lit department store fitting room. I can hear the buzz all around me the voices of other women who were also trying on clothes for size. I stood there staring at myself in one of those three way mirrors while I waited for someone to bring me a 2x larger pair of shorts from the size I pulled off the rack because it fit too small. The size I had been for the last several years. I stood there thinking "wait!,what size was that again?" Could it be that they just ran a little small? As I contemplated with myself , I stared a little closer. All of the sudden the buzz that had surrounded me started to be drowned out by my thoughts and emotions, the light that lit the fitting room so brightly now seemed to be like a spot light shining directly on me. For the first time I literally saw my body in a different light. I could actually see my body and how it's physique had changed. I felt myself take a deep breath HUH and then let it out with a big dissappointing UGH, my arms, my legs they had absolutely no muscle tone, no definition, no shape I would even say that the thought and image that quickly popped into my mind were that of " VIENNA SAUSAGES?" they reminded me of Vienna Sausages!. I continued to stand there without moving but since I was staring into this three way mirror my eyes moved from side to side. I could see my body from every angle. As my eyes flipped to the left I could see the mirror behind me that displayed the unwelcomed.. BACK FAT..the kind that when you wear your bra squeezes extra skin slightly under your arm pit. The kind that when your wearing a regular T-Shirt it looks more like a fitted T because of the roll that is created to stand out from the impression the bra is being forced to make. I was completely mortified. I couldn't help but to allow my eyes to continue to wonder! They made there way down to my butt which quite frankly had been the most admired part of my body. My butt use to be round and plump but Now I could'nt tell where it ended and where my legs began. Its all just one I thought! How does that happen? As my eyes made there way back to look forward there it was, my stomache, looking swollen and feeling mushy... reminding me of the days and even months that followed my childsbirth. The thing about that was I had had my last child 10 yrs ago. I was so upset. How come no-one told me? How could I have allowed for it to get this bad? I went through a slew of emotions. From feeling dissappointed to angry to anxious. Now, I was never a thin girl and didn't expect to have the body of one in her twenties without kids but this, this was just down right scary! I did always struggle with my weight which I only determined by the numbers on a scale. When the scale would say I gained a few pounds I would just embark on some yo-yo diet and take it off. No problem right? It was different this time. It wasn't about what the scale was telling me it was about what my own body was showing me. I started to think about how tired I had been feeling lately, I started thinking that a year ago I was hospitalized with kidney stones, I started thinking about my Dr telling me that my cholesterol was a little over normal mark, I started thinking about the fact that my parents and for that matter most of my family had type 2 diabetes along with many other ailments. This was'nt just about the image of my body which had been staring back at me this was about the reality of how all of my unhealthy habits were effecting me. Skipping breakfast most days, eating lunch at my desk if I ate anything at all. There were days that if I had a glass of water before dinner time that was too much. I would get home feeling ravishingly hungry. Since I arrived home late most nights my family already ate dinner. I would check the microwave where any left overs were stored. I would eat any left overs along with my own plate of food that I would serve. I realized that most nights I ate alone, my husband and kids ate alone, we were a mess. THIS WAS MY MOMENT! This is when I knew I had to make some changes. So, I finally got dressed. The spot light was no longer on me and I can now hear all the buzz and the voices that initially surrounded me. As I make my way up to the register with the larger sized shorts my stomache starts to growl.. Oh, no I'm hungry! I felt a sense of panick what was I going to do? I started to pray. I was like " God just please show me the way". When I reached the register I noticed that there was a magazinestand with a WOMENS HEALTH magazine which jumped out at me. Without even thinking about it I reached for it and grabbed it. Right behind that magazine there was an OXYGEN fitness magazine. I grabbed that one too. As I stood on this long check out line I immediately started to flip through the pages with such a sense of urgency. Normally all the other gossip magazines would have caught my attention but not this time. Again, it was like the spot light was on me and I could no longer hear the buzz around me. I emerged myself right into reading an article about clean eating. I didn't quite understand it all but it was short and seemed simple. Lucky for me they had an example of meals you could make for lunch. I though to myself "that looks good," " hey I can make that." After check out I proceeded to walk out the store and I said to myself out loud No not tomorrow, not monday, Now! I start today with my next meal. I went home and prepared my first consciously made clean meal. From that day forward I delved myself into gathering information about health, nutrition, fitness and training. (Did you know that 3500 cals a week =1 lb) Anyway, I started applying and executing on what I was learning. It was unbelievable how those two magazines gave me direction and some inspiration on what I could do starting today. I even invited my husband for a half hour walk around our community that day. I can honestly tell you that within four months of embarking into my lifestyle change I lost 20lbs! By the sixth month of eating clean and excersing atleast 4x's per week I was able to see my abs for the first time ever! Honestly a total mind and body transformation. I'm in the best shape of my life. I'm in control. I have kept the weight off for four years now but best of all my husband and kids who were heading down my same path of being overweight and unhealthy have joined me. In total as a family we have lost about 55to 60 lbs in the four years. That is alot of weight for a family where the shortest member stands at a height of 4'9 (that's me) and my husband being the tallest standing at 5'6. We're not on any diet. We shop clean so we can cook and eat clean. That's why I know it's for keeps.