k i never done this before but its worth some advise me and my fiance have been together for 3 1/2 years now when we first got together it was true romance we did everything together we had sex every day if we went somewhere like to my parents house he would mess around with me he use to touch me all the time and when we got together i would say i was over weight a little but i never looked it that bad my weight then was 210 but i looked like i was 160 to 180 but everything was fine cuz he did not know how much i really was so we use to have se all the time and do things he use to take me out we went to dinner like every other night i stayed at his apartment on weekends then i moved into my own house so he came over every night to hang out and what not he had a very good job and i had a good job so now we have been dating for a year n half at this point well then i got injured at work and they put me on lite duty but then the fired me for using my right hand so i was unemployed but was still making it with savings and unemployment and everything was still good with me and my boyfriend then just out of the blue his boss called and said i cant afford you anymore so he lost his job so i was helping him threw that cuz he was very upset and he flipped out and sold his car but he still had his truck and he was out looking for another job the same day so i have alot on my plate so i pack his things and he moved in with me and he started a new job mean while im still not working im stressed alot cuz i dont want him to take care of me i want things to be equal half and half thats how a relationship should be i think so mean while everything is still going very well with us but me with out a job and going to therapy to see if it will help my arm everyday getting stuck with neddles everyday and going threw law suite was not fun so i was all depressed and stressed all at the same time went threw this for over a year no work cant do anything i gained more pounds so now im up to 234 and im not happy still cant work and my fiance just seems like he lost intrest in me with in the last 9 months or so he says it not me it him but when i try to make love to him he dont want it and if i try a little harder to get it he gets mad then he says sex just dont interrest him anymore but i just dont get it cuz i was over weight when we meet and we alwas did it and now he says it dont interested him and then he tells me he is not attracted to my body so i know it has to do with my weight gain cuz thats when it all started i really love him with all my heart it just hurts me that he dont even try to make love to me or even make me feel good he always tells me its nothing to do with me its him he goes to the gym every other day but he wont get me a gym membership thats not right i can afford to go to the gym to lose it and he dont need to go he is thin he is perfect i jusst dont know what to do i dont want to lose him by the way im 26 and he i 32 sorry i just told you the whole story of my life told you it was my first time
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Add a Comment10 Comments
Sweetheart, he's using you. No doctor will prescribe any kind of pill (if there even is one!) so he doesn't have an urge to cheat on you. If he goes to the gym alone because his brother "rubs things in his face" only says he is ashamed of you. He thinks YOU are something to be chided about.
Dump the guy. Get yourself a gym membership. This relationship is not exactly 50/50 is it? It seems to me it's all about him.
As for your punctuation - it IS frustrating to read your replies and original story. Just put a period at the end of each thought. Better yet, take some summer English classes. Don't make excuses why you refuse to properly punctuate your writing, it only makes you look uneducated.
June 24, 2010 - 7:16amThis Comment
Ok,but why did he think he would have the urge to cheat?You are there and love him very much.He should be taking care of you!It is not fair.I pray things get better for you! : )
June 22, 2010 - 12:14amThis Comment
thanx to both of you, i know he is not cheating on me so thats out of the question and how i know is cuz he never has time with his job and i get to go with him when ever i want and he always wants me to go with i like it an about the gym he could only afford it for him not both and the reason i think he goes to the gym is cause he is a twin and his brother rubs alot of things in his face so they compete with each other and his brother goes to the gym everyday so thats why he goes to the gym and about the pills he got them from a doctor he said he wanted them so he dont have he urage to cheat on me im glad he took the move to prevent cheating but its not any fair to me cause he dont want to touch me but thats where it is
June 21, 2010 - 4:54pmThis Comment
Oh,about pills.There are no Over the counter pills that can specificly decrease his libido.I would NOT believe him.No man would ever do that,unless the doctor told him he would die if he was to have sex.He needs to go!That is your house.You will have your check.I am not saying it will be a walk in the park,because I do believe you love him and really want things to work,but how long has these things been going on?!I do know what you are going through!My X-husband was emotionally,psychology abusive.Then He stopped sex with me.Next thing you know,I caught him in my house ON CHRISTMAS DAY 08 with another girl,some chick he worked with!I knew something was wrong with his behavior,I did hear rumors and I sure got my proof.P.S.I scared the hell out of them,all I did was say HI!,walk by,grabbed my camera and took pictures!IT was incredibaly funny.I don't want something like that to happen to you.It was easy for me,because I didn't really love him anymore.Do what is best for you!Make 2 lists:1 for all the good things he does and what he brings to the relationship and the 2nd for what he does,bad,wrong,should be doing and adding to the relationship.If the Bad out numbers the Good.You know what you need to do.Wish you all the best.
June 21, 2010 - 1:22amThis Comment
Hi,I am Sorry to hear about that.With both of you losing your jobs and with your injury,that is definately tough.Money issues are one of the top reasons relationship get rocky and/or fall apart.I hate to say this,but it sounds a little unusal to go from very sexually active/touchy-feeley to nothing.Your weight should NOT be the reason why he is not in the mood.MEN and SEX is like Peanut Butter and Jelly.Also,If he truely loved you,it would not matter.What also concerns me is,how he is always going to the gym and refuses to get you a membership.What I honestly believe is that there is a chance he could be cheating on you and that there is a good chance the person he is cheating on you with,goes to that gym,explaining the reason why he does not get you a membership.I believe you are a beautiful Girl and you deserve to be loved,desired and shown affection,consideration and thoughtfulness.I hope he changes,but if he does not,just remember you deserve better and I am sure you can find it!
June 21, 2010 - 12:55amThis Comment
I am so sorry. Why are you staying with someone when they have been honest with you, and honestly and directly has said, "I have lost interest in you."?
Honestly, the other stuff does not matter (and is very difficult to read with the absence of punctuation). Woman of all shapes and sizes find partners who love them, so please do not spend another minute analyzing your appearance.
People fall in and out of love, and I know it hurts and is devastating. Are you able to talk with a counselor about how to move on?
June 20, 2010 - 7:26pmThis Comment
i did not say he said he lost interest in me, is what i said is he says sex does not interest him there is a big diffrents there. if he told me he was not interested in me anymore he would be out of my house.
June 20, 2010 - 8:39pmThis Comment
and not to be up tight but everybody is not perfect on there spelling and grammer wise i dont put them cause i dont know where they would go but thats me im not perfect
June 20, 2010 - 8:48pmThis Comment
wantstobeloved,
I am sorry you are frustrated; let me try again. I am not suggesting that anyone needs to be "perfect on spelling and grammar", but I was kindly letting you know that it is difficult for other women to read and fully understand a long message without any punctuation or sentences.
Your original message above states, "...just seems like he lost intrest in me with in the last 9 months or so...", and this is where I was coming from in my response. I now understand that you were trying to say he just lost interest in you sexually.
What type of "pill" is he taking to decrease his sex drive? What is the name/brand? Does he have any health conditions?
What are you looking for by writing your story? Are you feeling like you want to vent? Do you want other women to agree or just empathize with you? Are you wanting other women to share similar stories? Are you open to all different suggestions, even if they are difficult to hear? Let us know what you need...we're here for you, and any/all of the above needs are fine. They just need to be articulated, as I'm feeling that you are frustrated by my responses, and if you just want to vent without hearing my opinion that is perfectly fine, too!
June 22, 2010 - 1:27pmThis Comment
oh and today he tells me he has been taken pills to decrease his sex drive thats why it dont interest him
June 20, 2010 - 6:30pmThis Comment