Oh no!
I'm doomed! I was pregnant within months of marriage, and again months after my first child, and again months after the second child too! Am I headed for divorce court?!
A study on happy marriages seems to say that happiness declines once the first child is born.
A study of nearly 220 couples found that 9 out of 10 couples became unhappier after having a child.
Married couples without children also saw a decrease in happiness but the unhappiness happened more quickly for those who were parents.
Another study showed that parents suffer more from depression that those who do not have children.
Parents who lived together before marriage also found themselves more unhappy than those who did not co-habitate before walking down the aisle (finally, I score on that one!).
Of course, researchers do admit that happiness is relative. Having kids puts a huge strain on finances, which is turn causes stress and emotional hardship so those without kids can better avoid that.
But for others, despite the fatigue and financial stress that babies and kids cause, it's all worth it - and then some.
The study is published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Tell Us
Would a study like this put you off having kids? Has having children put a strain on your marriage or made you more unhappy? And how do YOU define happiness?
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http://www.wcpo.com/content/news/fresh/story/3-Officers-Injured-While-Running-Down-Suspect/YeLwSjtYok2lV3aAarf5Hg.cspx?p=Comments
This article and the comments will show men reasons not to have kids! Dont join the club!
April 21, 2009 - 3:18pmThis Comment
SusanC, I do not know how this study was designed and who were those who participated, but I can tell you that whoever spent time leading the research must have had a personal interest on once more adding to the fuel that lights the fire against "marriage" in today's society. We see the world from our own "western lenses" there is NO way I can believe that a couple from India or some other society finds any relevance to this data. What is "happiness" any way? Just an illusion..it is the journey to achieve it that matters, but this journey is not about just the "self" but the other who shares along the path.
April 15, 2009 - 11:41pmThis Comment
Susan,
It makes me wonder how they define "happy" to their poll participants.
I have been married for a lot of years, and we don't have kids. We wanted them, but it just never happened, and we were OK with that option too. To be honest, we were very conscious of how having children would change our daily lives -- in every aspect -- and while we knew that we would love the children, we weren't sure whether we would love the life. But then, no one ever is, ahead of time, are they?
Having children changes your body (at least the woman's), changes your self-definition, and changes your schedule. It means less sleep and more worries. You have to be concerned with a whole new world of dangers that never occurred to you before you were a parent. Balancing career and family time becomes an issue, and sometimes the "couple" gets totally lost in the process. With a divorce rate of 50% and stepfamilies as common as traditional families, it stands to reason that a lot of people are seeking their happiness down paths they didn't expect to be following.
So sure, it makes sense to me that couples without children may register "happier" on some sort of scale than couples who do. But if the next question on the survey would have been, "would you be happier without your children?" I'm sure that the answer would have been a big, strong NO for 99% of the survey-takers. So often, the key to a survey lies in the questions and how they were asked than in the respondants themselves.
Very thought provoking post!
April 14, 2009 - 9:20amThis Comment