It’s my job to take care of everyone else.
I shouldn’t need help.
I should be able to take care of my baby by myself.
If I say “no,” that’s selfish.
They’ll be disappointed in me if I refuse.
If there’s time leftover for me, then I’ll take it.
Even if only one of these statements rings a bell for you, you probably put others’ needs and wants ahead of yours, most likely at your own expense. You know how the flight attendant instructs you to place the oxygen mask over your own nose and mouth first? That’s because, if you’re not filled up first, you’re no good to anyone else. As many of you already know (you know who you are), if you try to give to others when you’re depleted, you’ll end up resentful, angry and burned out. And that, of course, hurts you and everyone around you. So, enough of the old, self-sacrificing garbage and on with the healthy stuff! Tips to start:
CLICK HERE TO READ THE REST OF DR. SHOSH'S ARTICLE:
https://www.empowher.com/news/mental-health/2008/07/22/shoshana-bennett-...
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Thanks for this post! I just read the rest of your article, and two things I can implement TONIGHT are:
1. Pre-sleep routine. I've had trouble getting to bed before 11pm, even thought I'm exhausted with taking care of my toddler all day, taking care of the house and working part-time. He goes to sleep at 8pm, so my only time to really be able to get anything productive done is after he's asleep...and when I get going it's difficult to stop at 9:30pm, to settle into sleep, and be in bed by 10pm....no matter how many times I tell myself I MUST do this!
Consequently, I have had an awful upper and lower respiratory infection for 4 months (on and off), that never fully goes away, because I really am not taking care of myself. My mother-in-law finally said "Enough!" and is babysitting my son today so I can rest. What did I do instead of rest? Four loads of laundry, paid bills and other finances, organized some family outings, made doctor appointments, hung pictures, washed dishes, worked part-time...
Honestly, I'm not sure how to relax and not do anything; I really have to think about it. So, tonight...I am going to read a book (a non-mom, non-work-related book!) before bed...I'm looking forward to it!
2. Scheduled Breaks. I love, love this idea! I have my mom and my mother-in-law who would love nothing more than to spend some quality time with their grandson. When they do see him, I am off getting groceries done or some other errand/chore. What a great idea to schedule a few, two-hour breaks throughout my week, so I can look forward to them. I have been extra irritable, cranky and I know it is from not having enough alone time/quiet time.
Thanks for the great tips! It's funny that I have a relaxing, 30-minute bedtime routine for my toddler, and never thought of the benefits of having one for myself! :-)
July 22, 2008 - 2:46pmThis Comment