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After getting out of a tough relationship, I now realize the importance of being in a relationship with someone who is stable (mentally and emotionally) and not depressed. Two depressed and/or unstable people are not a good match and not healthy for one another.
Although getting into a relationship so soon after dating another person for so long is probably not the best idea, at least I am now with a stable person. However, I’ve noticed some common trends in my relationships, whether they are healthy or not.
For example, I tend to be clingy at times. I think it may be because of my depression, which probably intensifies my fear of being alone. I get bored easily, and when I get bored, I get depressed, or more depressed than I already was. Therefore, I always feel like I need that special someone around.
Another trend is regret. I always feel like I made the wrong decision in my past relationship. Depression is the cause of some feelings of uselessness and guilt, so I think my depression aggravates my feelings of guilt and regret for past relationships. Of course, this makes current relationships very difficult when always thinking about the past.
A final noticeable trend is losing interest easily. My eyes tends to wander when I’m in a relationship. Maybe this has nothing to do with depression. The part that does is that my eyes tends to wander more when I’m not with my special someone very often. Since I’m clingy and needy, which may be due to my depression, I always feel like I need someone with me. If my special someone isn’t there, then I may turn to someone else’s company.
Here is some advice for those who have depression and are in a relationship from Mental Health America:
• Share your feelings with others as much as possible. Your reluctance to talk about how you feel only creates distance between you and your loved ones. It’s especially important to keep the lines of communication open during trying times.
• Let your partner know that you still find him or her attractive. An affectionate touch and a few reassuring words can mean a lot, even if you don’t feel inclined toward more intimate relations.
• Consider couples or family counseling. Your willingness to talk about your relationship and how it may be affected by depression speaks volumes to family members and loved ones about their importance in your life.
• Keep working toward recovery. Today’s treatment options make that more realistic than ever.
• To resolve all your symptoms, a combination of medication and talk therapy may be recommended. Your physician will help you determine the right levels of medication and how long you should stay on them.
Link: http://www.nmha.org/index.cfm?objectid=C7DF95BB-1372-4D20-C8EC4BBBEF879A20
Although many psychologists may recommend that you shouldn’t see anyone while being majorly depressed, sometimes it just hurts even more to be alone. I would suggest being careful and being aware of how depression may affect your relationship. Avoid the behaviors I mentioned if you have them.
Being in a relationship while depressed can be a lot of work, but it can also be rewarding and a welcomed challenge. Relationships aren’t necessary and you can definitely be on your own and single and still be happy. Do what is best for you.
Add a Comment1 Comments
I have felt a lot like the things in this story. I am in counseling on medication and struggling still with depression. For a short while I felt like I was in control of everything and lately it's back in full force taking away the people I love the most little bits at a time, because depression does hurt everyone.
July 31, 2009 - 12:06amThis Comment