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Are You In An Abusive Relationship? 8 Warning Signs

By HERWriter
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Is Your Relationship Abusive? 8 Warning Signs Auremar/PhotoSpin

Domestic violence is a type of abuse between partners that is often unrecognized by the person being abused. Domestic violence can take many different forms including intimidation, physical or sexual assault.

Domestic violence sometimes causes physical injury. But it can also cause emotional or psychological pain with no physical signs.

People who are being abused often need help to get out of a relationship that includes domestic violence. Beauty Cares is a non-profit organization dedicated to ending the cycle of domestic abuse against women and children.

Consider their eight warning signs that may mean you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship:

1) Intensity

Is the person you're involved with excessively charming? Does your partner consistently lie to cover insecurity? Are you being smothered with numerous texts or emails?

If your partner seems obsessive, or if you feel rushed to get serious immediately when it may seem too soon, you may be in an abusive relationship.

2) Jealousy

Does your partner react inappropriately or irrationally when you interact with others. Do they become angry when you talk to someone of the opposite sex? It's a red flag if the person you're involved with accuses you unfairly of flirting or cheating.

If your partner resents time you spend with other people or demands to know all the details of your life, your boundaries are being overstepped and ignored.

3) Control

Does the person you're involved with want to control every aspect of your life? This may include controlling your appearance by deciding for you what you should wear, or how you should do your hair or makeup. It may also include showing up uninvited at your home, school or job.

It's not okay for your partner to be checking your phone, email or other social media, to go through your belongings, or to use sex or other methods to make you feel bad about yourself.

4) Isolation

Does the person you're involved with insist that you only spend time together, and try to separate you from your friends and family?

Add a Comment2 Comments

I need advice. I might be in a emotional abused marriage. When my daughter was born 5 yrs ago we decided one of us should be a stay at home parent. He had gotten a job first so i stayed home with the baby and cared for our 7yr old son. We had moved in with my mother to save money after 6 months of giving birth. Money wasnt being saved due to his drug n alcohol problems. He constantly threw in my face that if i worked then we would have money for bills n his addiction so i could stop complaining about it. With his worked schedule me getting a job was impossible. We moved out this yr to our own house. He has a new job but because they dont drug test him he wants to stay here where he gets paid little and full time isn't always around. Once again he gets mad after i pay bills and there isnt any money left enough to pay for drugs beer n cigs. Saying its my fault cause i dont work. My daughter started school last month therefore im looking for a job to help with bills. He constantly throws in my face that i dont have money and i wouldnt make it on my own and he would get full custody of the kids cause i suffer from depression. So i stay. Its been 13 yrs with him and i feel like im worthless and not loved. He doesnt spend time with us. And he doesn't help with the kids. Im unemployed and stuck with him.

September 7, 2015 - 10:39pm
HERWriter Guide (reply to eag37)

Hi eag37


Thanks for writing, I'm sorry this is going on in your life.


Your husband is an abusive drug abuser who is using family money to feed his habit and choosing low paying, unsteady work so that he can continue to use.  He is contributing nothing to the family - only taking.  

My advice is to move back in with your mother if you can. If your child is 5 she should be in Kindergarten by now, freeing up your time to work and make your own money.  You need to end this abuse now by getting out. 

If you can't move in with your mother, see if you can do a house share.  See if social services can help - you should be able to get a rent allowance and help with purchasing food.  You're not stuck, it just feels that way.  The first year will be really hard but you'll get back on your feet and wish you had done this years ago.  Don't focus on why you have to stay, focus on the many reasons you need to leave.  There are resources out there, contact social services to find out more. 




September 8, 2015 - 5:30am
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

Domestic Abuse

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