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40 is the new 30: Tips for Dealing with a Mid-Life Crisis

 
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When Elliot Jacques coined the term mid-life crisis 40 years ago, the average lifespan was 70 and mid-life came at the youthful age of 35. With encroaching mortality starring them squarely in the face, Jacques argued it was natural for people to respond in some extreme way, such as the need for a flashy sports car or having extra-marital affairs.

But now that people are living longer than ever before, that proverbial line in the sand is being drawn in new and more productive ways says Carlo Strenger, a professor in Tel Aviv University's Department of Psychology. He cites empirical evidence that adults really do have a second act.

For starters, Strenger dismisses as myth that the years between 40 and the early 60s means adapting to diminished personal and societal expectations. He believes as people live longer, fuller lives we can now cast aside that stereotype and start thinking in more relative terms of a mid-life transition rather than mid-life crisis.

“If you make fruitful use of what you've discovered about yourself in the first half of your life,” Dr. Strenger argues, “the second half can be the most fulfilling.”

When considering the typical lifespan, most people make many of their most important life decisions before they really know who they are. By age 30, most Americans have already married, decided where to live, bought their first home, and chosen their career. “But at 30, we still have the better part of our adult years ahead of us,” he says.

With extended life expectancy, along with better health practices, education, and a greater emphasis on emotional self-awareness and personal fulfillment comes a reverse probability of suffering a mid-life crisis.

Add to that years of neurological research that has disproved the notion that the brain simply deteriorates after age 40, he says. In fact, research shows the your brain is, in many aspects, functioning a higher capacity than it did during your 20s, and it creates a more optimistic outlook: “A rich and fruitful life after 50 is a much more realistic possibility.”

How can you transition smoothly to the best years of your life? Professor Strenger offers these four tips:

  • Most importantly, invest some sincere thought that you in fact have more high-quality adults years ahead of you than behind you, he says. “Realize what that means in planning for the future.”
  • Think about what you’ve learned about yourself so far. Consider what you’ve found to be your strongest abilities and what most pleases you, not what your parents or society expected from you when you were younger.
  • Don’t be afraid of daunting obstacles in making new changes. He says once you realize how much time you have left in this world, you will find it profoundly worth investing your energy in major ways. For example: Tackling new learning opportunities or a new career choice are not unreasonable moves. The added benefit is that you may now have a better chance of succeeding because your choices will be rooted in knowledge and experience rather than youthful blind ambition.
  • It is absolutely necessary to make use of your support network, says Strenger. Discuss major life changes with the people you know you best: colleagues, friends and family. They will be able to support you in the new direction you want to take. Having a professional counselor or therapist can also be helpful in keeping you focused.

Lynette Summerill is an award-winning journalist who lives in Scottsdale, Arizona. In addition to writing about cancer-related issues, she writes a blog, Nonsmoking Nation, which follows global tobacco news and events.

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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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