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Balance Your Strengths and Weaknesses

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Some people recommend spending more time working on your strengths than trying to reduce your weaknesses. This is a good idea for people that tend to get stuck on what is wrong with them rather than seeing all that is fabulous.

I recon a balance between strengths and weaknesses is best. You shouldn’t spend all your time sobbing about your flaws, but some self awareness of them, as well as taking some action to reduce them, is positive.

It can sometimes be hard to identify your own flaws. You might know of a couple, but others may remain hidden from us. Sometimes circumstances (such as a relationship break-up) can draw our attention to flaws or a friend or colleague is brave enough to fill us in about a flaw we can’t see ourselves.

If our flaws are brought to our attention at an already tricky time it can be a bit overwhelming, but take it on board and you can process the info once things have settled down. There is no need to get defensive or angry about things or with the person who filled you in. Any info you can learn to try and improve yourself is positive. It is also said that defensiveness is a truth you don’t want to see, ponder that before you react.

Having your flaws pointed out to you can test your maturity. I recommend being very willing to listen to anyone who wants to discuss such things with you, even if you disagree. Try to clarify exactly what they mean – ask them to expand, give you examples, ask them questions – that will give you a better picture.

Maybe you are never on time, maybe you seriously lack discipline, maybe you moan too much behind your friend’s back. Perhaps you are too negative and are constantly sporting a is great to know these things – so you can address and reduce them.

When pondering and working on your flaws, don’t forget all the magnificent things about you also. I’m sure they outnumber any negatives. I find brainstorm helps me. If I’m pondering something about myself or about relationships/issues in my life, I tend to pull out blank (recycled scrap) paper and put every thought and issue down on it so I can see the whole picture, then I can start pondering solutions and ideas.

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Great tip Kellie - when feeling down the best way to get yourself super happy again is by giving to others. Sincere and thoughtful compliments rock!

June 2, 2009 - 9:01pm

I agree! I think we all tend to focus more on the negative and what's wrong with us. It is a shame and a waste of energy.

If I am feeling down I will make sure I give compliments to other people. For example, 'that color looks great on you'. When you see their faces light up from the genuine compliment you feel you have helped someone feel good about themselves.

Also, the more you give compliments, the more you receive them. It all helps to highlight and emphasize the positive and forget about the negative.

June 2, 2009 - 1:59pm
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We value and respect our HERWriters' experiences, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice, although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

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