I have an incredible and varied life. I live full out and play full court. I make no excuses for myself. Once upon a time, like most women, I didn't integrate my life. Women tend not to do this, because we are never actually encouraged to see ourselves as more than one thing. We are either "professional" or "homemakers" - we are either "Madonnas or Whores". But what if you were allowed as a woman to have a fully integrated life? What if you could have a professional life, and still have a family? What if being a successful lawyer didn't mean that you could still also be around to cook for your family if that pleased you? What if you could be wearing sexy lacy panties under your business suit - and was meeting your lover for some fabulous sexual adventure after work? Could women truly have it all? Isn't this what we have been saying with the introduction of egg freezing? That it is okay to freeze your eggs now - and have your children later while you were figuring the rest of your life out? That you didn't have to choose? That everything could happen in it's own good time and that women could integrate their lives as they saw fit?
Was this possible? Could we actually be mothers, Madonnas, workers and sexual beings all at the same time? Would society know how to wrap their arms around that? What is going on with women who are hooked up to machines in a study to look at their sexual response - and their bodies register a response to the visual stimulation but the woman's mind does not? What is going on? How do we help women connect these dots? There is something incredibly broken in that.
I think that we are getting closer to putting the pieces together. But we will never get there if a woman's sexuality is still used to punish her. And even today - it is. But like New Hampshire passing gay marriage - we are a country in transition. And I believe that we are closer than ever to supporting women living fully integrated lives.
Sociologists and sex perts are finally writing about the new integrated woman - and that's a start. But who are the brave women out there who will do it and speak it?