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"Saying hello could be a subject for a law suit in this day and age", the instructor insisted in one of my English communication classes long time ago. We students replied, "Ahhhhhh" in disbelief. "But look around you, how many people in this class said 'hi' to each other since it began two weeks ago without a sense of doubt whether the person in going to take it as a mere hello or not?" our instructor asked us. I thought about it long and hard. Not very many of us said, "hello" to our fellow students comfortably. Is it true than, that greeting a person for courtesy could be taken wrong? Could be.
So much has changed in the way people interact with each other over the past decade or two. Interactions between people are not appreciated as they used to be. The days of law suits came almost unnoticed into our daily lives. When a person walks by another person they hardly nod their heads in acknowledgment for the other anymore. People don't smile at each other in the malls or shopping centers. In work places the "good mornings" or "good evenings" are often said out of fear that not doing so might indicate a negative attitude in the work environment but these greetings do not come from the heart. People smile at each other in meeting places but there is no genuine feeling expressed. It almost feels like attaching a fake mustache to a naked face. So in today's society every single action on behalf of a person needs to be taken carefully as not to offend the others or create a problem leading to a totally different reaction on the other party's side.
It used to be everybody greeted everybody without fear of rumors being generated. Now when a male says, "hello" to a female with a smile ten brows raise behind the scene. There must be something going on here. Genuine friends cannot be seen together without people drawing meanings out of their relationships. Two same gender people cannot sit and chat without being suspected of another kind of relationship. Boy friends are not friends who are boys any more, they are "boy friends". Girl friends cannot giggle even as teenagers with each other on silly things or tell secrets to each other at slumber parties sharing the same beds any more. Bosses cannot offer a cup of coffee or joke with subordinates without offending the others or being sued for sexual harassment at a later day. Doctors cannot be alone with the opposite sex patient without a nurse being present in the room. Lady secretaries have to watch every step they make on how they carry their duties around male bosses. Every single gesture on every one's part is being judged in different ways. More often than not these judgments are biased. If two people are seen together having plain fun there is some kind of a sexual relationship attributed. A male and a female cannot speak to each other in public without some wives or husbands thinking otherwise.
Every single action is mistaken on either the other person's behalf or the society's. A man thinks that a woman might be interested in him with the slightest gesture of acknowledgment and approaches her with a proposal for a date. A woman thinks a man is interested in her physically as soon as a man says, "hello". A girl thinks that a boy is trying to hit on her with the way he looks at her. A boy thinks a girl is trying to flirt with him even if she turns around walking in the school corridors. Gossip runs like water and floods in groups of college students about others. Young people fantasize about their friends' moms sexually as soon as they were greeted and treated right in their homes. Young girls adore other friends' dads as the coolest dads with a glimpse of hidden meanings.
Naturally then, people in today's society do not know how to react with others' gestures even if they are simple "hello's" anymore. Meanings are constantly taken in context of sexuality. There is no respect intended that was so grounded in older generations towards elders. There is no concept of grandmas or grandpas anymore. Everyone is part of these games that are manipulated relationships in every nook and corner. With cartoons like Tom and Jerry, Popeye the sailor man, Superman disappearing and being replaced by Simpsons, Family Guy and others, there is not room for youngsters to grow innocently any more. With prime time shows like Knight Rider, and Dukes of Hazzard being replaced by Two and a Half Men, the Bundys, or Friends, there is no chance teenagers or young adults to leave their adolescence behind gracefully. Sexuality is supposed to be sensual, casual, sweet, and considerate not bold, vulgar, and ugly to an extent where parents have to look the other way watching a television show during family time on the week ends.
Family values ceased to exist when parents stopped teaching and mentoring their kids on what is right or wrong. Parents themselves are caught in the crossfires and confused. How could they guide the children? Discipline at schools and households is taken to 911 calls or courts branding it as child abuse. Society has evolved from the days of barbecues and lazy afternoons in the back yards to bloody murders on the video games and bikini shows on the beaches. This evolution in turn changed the whole outlook on relationships. It has attributed meanings to conversations and gestures where there are none. Brothers and sisters, mothers and sons, fathers and daughter, teachers and pupils, friends and friends--no one is spared in these vicious circles that are fast changing the way we live with ourselves and others. No one has time to sit and think for a change. Everyone is so busy looking after themselves they simply overlook the need, the basic human necessity of being with others. That is why in today's society there is so much loneliness, so much violence, so many sexual distractions, so much anger. That is why there is so much demand for psychologists, counselors, psychiatrists, and doctors to keep us calm. So many pharmaceuticals making so many drugs to lull our cravings for a human touch. So many clubs and movies to satisfy our desperate minds with temporary gratifications.
At the end of it all, it is all forgotten that all we need is the basic element of human interaction. Compassion with a genuine greeting of "hello" that carries the most needed feeling and assurance that "I am thinking of you." When this is realized the world will be a better place and we will be happier human beings, because, OUR LIFE MATTERS.
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