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Lack of sexual desire: The causes, the myths, and what to do about it

By Diane Porter November 30, 2009 - 5:23am
 
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The magazine illustrations are of words like desire and arousal. Half of each word is alive with color, swirls and style. The other half of each word fades to black.

Which is exactly how so many women today seem to feel about their sexual lives.

“It’s fine for me not to have sex at all,” said one woman in her 40s to psychologist Lori Brotto at the British Columbia Center for Sexual Medicine in Vancouver. Bratto is well-acquainted with the sentiment, and it also doesn’t surprise her to find out that the woman used to love having sex and, in fact, misses it. “What exactly is turning me off?” she asks Brotto.

At EmpowHer, we get a lot of questions about sexual desire, or the lack of it. Women feel that they somehow are lacking because they suddenly don’t feel a craving for sex. Or they feel that they and their partner are at a crossroads because one person wants sex more than the other. And it doesn’t help that every other commercial on television is for products that enhance a man’s sexual experience, but not a woman’s.

Sunday’s New York Times Magazine printed an article on Brotto, who is

 
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We value and respect the experiences of all of our HERWriters, but everyone is different. Many of our writers are speaking from personal experience, and what's worked for them may not work for you. Their articles are not a substitute for medical advice although we hope you can gain knowledge from their insight.

Diane Porter View Profile Send Message

I grew up in Denver, one of three children born to a seventh child, which means we had cousins coming out of the ...

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