Why Can’t I Orgasm?: Part III

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This is the conclusion to the three-part series Why Can’t I Orgasm? In this article, I’ll wrap up the reasons why many women can’t orgasm, and then share some final thoughts with you.

6) Sex kind of hurts/stings/is uncomfortable. It is very important to visit your primary care physician or gynecologist if you suspect there is a biological reason for your inability to orgasm. There is an extremely wide range of conditions that can cause discomfort during sex, including yeast infections, urinary tract infections, endometriosis, and pelvic inflammatory disease.

However, one easily-cured cause of pain during sex is inadequate lubrication, and you can fix this problem by using a personal lubricant like Astroglide® or K-Y Jelly®. If you’re currently using lubricant, try switching brands, as there is a small chance that it may be irritating the inside of your vagina.

7) I’ve tried all of your suggestions, and I still can’t orgasm during intercourse. It’s a little-known fact that only about a third of women regularly climax during intercourse. The next third can only orgasm during intercourse with extra stimulation. And the last third never achieve orgasm during sex, but climax from manual and oral stimulation.

As I mentioned earlier, every woman is different. The fact is that some women simply cannot orgasm through sex alone, but this doesn’t mean that they are unhealthy or not in touch with their sexuality. I personally have an orgasm every time I have sex, but it’s certainly not from vaginal penetration alone. If you find it increasingly difficult to reach orgasm during sex, you simply need to seek it in other ways, including vibrators, oral sex, and manual stimulation.

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This series has addressed some of the practical means by which you can increase your chances of having an orgasm. But to truly improve your sex life, you simply need to stop trying to please your partner and start pleasing yourself. Social constructs often dictate that women should please their partner sexually and look beautiful while doing it. You will never be able to fully let go until you separate yourself from this line of thinking.

Adjust your attitude from, “How can I be a good sex partner?” to, “How can a sex partner be good to me?” Take the time and focus you need to properly achieve arousal, enjoyment, and satisfaction. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango, so having a better time in bed can benefit your partner, too.

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Shaina Gaul is a feminist and freelance writer living in Iowa. View more of her writing at http://www.toasterbyte.com.

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