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Yoga Etiquette

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I go to yoga to stretch my muscles and relax my mind but there are three major things that can ruin my very point of being there. Here are the rules that I think should always be followed when it comes to yoga class.

1. Keep the sex noises for your bedroom, please!
More than once, I have experienced the fellow yoga participant who seems to relax just a little too much. It is close to impossible to concentrate on the movement of your own breath when your neighbor is moaning away. It reminds me a “Friends” episode when Monica made sex noises during a massage with Phoebe. Only on the show, it was funny. In real life yoga class, it’s not so funny. Just annoying. Please, spare us.

2. Keep your comfortable distance.
I think that if schools have a rule that a little girl’s shorts or skirts should be longer than their fingertips, then the same rule should apply with yoga mats. I get really annoyed when my mat is set up and ready to go and some straggler comes into class late and plops his or her mat down with less than an inch between theirs and mine. Seriously, if during our poses, we are so close that our limbs touch, you are invading my personal yoga space. So please, either take an available spot in the front or show up earlier.

3. Stay home if you are sick!
Last week, I had a woman practically overlap her yoga mat onto mine after arriving to class with only minutes to spare. I fumed as I saw all the open spots by the wall that she somehow ignored. Deciding to avoid filling my thoughts with negative energy or feeling overcrowded throughout the whole class, I decided to move to the wall. Thankful that I didn’t see the sex noise lady anywhere, I got comfortable in my new spot and began my relaxation breathing. I was on my fourth or fifth deep breath when the woman in front of me began to cough. Come on! This was not the occasional dry throat cough. This one rattled with congestion and continued about every 10 minutes. I decided that I’d better add “double up on my vitamins” to my daily “to do” list. Please, do us all a favor. If you are sick, stay home! If you can’t miss a day of yoga, get a DVD.

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