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After admitting I have an Addiction, what's the next step?

By November 24, 2010 - 5:36pm

Am I strong enough to give up an addiction?
Its sex, to deal with my problems that come into my live I turn to sex with one partner. I want to change, it's time.
I admitted it's a problem, now what do I do?

By HERWriter Guide March 17, 2011 - 1:54pm

Hi again,

You've taken a really important first step, we're very proud of you!

Let us know how your first meeting goes; we'll be thinking of you and waiting for an update.


March 17, 2011 - 1:54pm
By March 15, 2011 - 11:32pm

im having trouble sleeping and i have been thinking way too much
lately i have been getting sick too
also set up counseling apt for next monday
yes tryin to take one day at a time for now

March 15, 2011 - 11:32pm
By HERWriter Guide March 11, 2011 - 7:34am

Thanks for your update!

I understand that that first big step (getting some help or even looking for it) is the hardest part sometimes.

I encourage you to call that number and get your card as soon as you can. Then some very helpful doors will be open to you.

And don't worry about taking it one day at a time. In fact, that's probably the best way for you right now.

Keep us updated when you can!

March 11, 2011 - 7:34am
By March 9, 2011 - 8:51pm

I have good days and bad days. Lately everything is just too overwhelming which is making tough days. I trying to just stayed focused with school. I'm fighting to figure how to manage all of the daily things that happen.
No I don't have it, but I just got the number to call them to get the card.
It seems like answers at my finger tips but at the sametime they are so far away I can't see them.
I fighting for change, but at the sametime I'm afraid.

March 9, 2011 - 8:51pm
By HERWriter Guide March 5, 2011 - 12:02pm

Hi mytantus

We haven't heard from you in a while - how is everything? Did your insurance card arrive?

March 5, 2011 - 12:02pm
By February 16, 2011 - 10:01pm

Thanks Katie, addiction is a bad habit that eventually becomes our main focus at the moment. No it isn't good, but there is always help. For someone to change their life into a better one is awesome.

As for me, I got through the hectic Christmas season. Went through battles of fighting and feeling alone, but I fought to find something to turn my focus on something positive again.
I'm focusing on school and making goals for the future.
Just last week, I was talking to a person I look up to, a mentor. She didn't understand why I don't want to live in a college dorm instead of living at my boyfriends parents house. Then she said, "They way your saying things makes me think you were more abused than I thought." We were talking about how my mom using verbal abuse to get her way sometimes. That whole day I kept writing down on paper my thoughts and wanting to cry. I couldn't believe how the conversation took a turn like that, I also couldn't believe she said "I think it is the best if you live in a dorm." Finally I tell her I was sexually abused by a guy a couple years back. I felt sick all over again with the emotion and the memories. She said there is help and I said I know. It helped to talk about it. She asked when I was going back to counseling and I said soon.

Anyways, things haven't changed. Less fighting since the christmas season is over. I'm still having regular sex with my boyfriend and still live with him.
I'm not in counseling yet, which I know would help me figure things out. I'm waiting to get my health insurance card. I was told in be here in Jan. for the new year, but it hasn't came yet. I know my future will be better than my past and present. I'm still waiting.

February 16, 2011 - 10:01pm
By HERWriter Guide January 28, 2011 - 9:28am

Hi Katie

Thanks for your advice to our other members and congratulations on your sobriety. Stay strong and supported and also know that we're help to help!

January 28, 2011 - 9:28am
By January 27, 2011 - 8:34pm

Hi. I am an addict myself but my "drug of choice" was heroin. But.. I believe our addictions are alike in many ways. I was using it to cover up all of the bad emotions and problems and take them all away. It sounds like you have sex to feel good so you don't have to feel the bad emotions of what happened. I have been clean and drug free since Nov.3rd. I had to learn a lot of tools to deal with the reasons I used the drugs and find out what i was hiding from and confront it and find a way to cope with these feelings. I think it would really help you to talk about what happened to you and find ways of coping with it, if your unhappy that you are using sex to feel better. Not sure if what i'm saying will help you but from one addict to another, i know it helps to have non-partial people to talk to and get feelings out. good luck!

January 27, 2011 - 8:34pm
By HERWriter Guide December 1, 2010 - 12:19pm

Hi again mytantus

Thanks for your post!

Please don't have sex unless you want to, otherwise you may end up feeling a bit violated all over again.

I agree that Christmas is hectic (I very much agree!) but if you need help, it really doesn't matter whether the season is busy or not.

One thing I'd like to suggest is that you DO talk to someone before January but not in a "therapy" situation, if you really prefer to wait.

There is a great organization called RAINN - this is the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. They offer really great support. You can call them at 1.800.656.HOPE 24 hours a day, 7 days per week and everything is free and confidential.

I think they will be extremely understanding of your situation and many are also survivors of trauma. They have walked in your shoes and will really get where you're coming from.

You can check out their website here: www.rainn.org to see what they have to offer.

I don't like to think of you holding off until the New Year. That's a month away and that's forever when you need help and support. Please think about calling them today, ok? Let me know how you feel about this - I'll be thinking about you,

December 1, 2010 - 12:19pm
By November 30, 2010 - 9:54pm

Yes, I am a young adult. Still trying to figuring things out and obviously I can't do it alone. I do have big decisions to make. And still figuring out what I do like and don't. What I can handle and don't.

It's strange why I'm so protective of this issue towards my family members knowing, but not afraid to tell others as long as they don't tell my family. Idk why this is.

I am stressed b/c more and more rules are made by my boyfriends parent. I hate it so much.
I used to be very good at knowing what's next. Now im stumbling trying to hold everything together. Make new goals and plans, so that Im not living day by day with guesses.

Since its to close to christmas season, Im going to try to hold out at my boyfriends until at least Jan. Also even tho I need counseling now cuz it would help so much. That's waiting until jan. too. We all know christmas season is very hetic. I just hope I can deal with everything until Jan. I need change now but things just don't work the way we need it too sometimes.

I'm so lost, 2nd guessing myself and haven't dealt with issue that happened 3 years ago is messing me up so bad. Overwhelmed with not wanting to have sex anymore right now and just feel like that's all I do anymore with my boyfriend. Communication is lacking between us two and not sure how it happen.
All I can do is just try to figure things out until I can go to counseling.

November 30, 2010 - 9:54pm

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