The guilt has taken any pleasure from life
Hello there, I guess i just want to hear from anyone else who has a profoundly disabled spouse. I am not with my spouse 24 hrs a day- they are reluctantly in care.But i am thinking about them pretty much all of the time and the guilt makes me feel almost sick- when i am doing something for myself it can never be fully enjoyable as i feel bad that my spouse isn't able to do it. I spend more time with them now but it never feels enough- i still feel guilty leaving. And feel guilty that i want to leave as the energy required to be with them is enormous due to the disability and frustration on their part. My spouse has now been making me feel bad about where they are living even though they need caregivers so i feel more guilty and feel the need to do more. I don't feel i can ever do enough. They were controlling prior to this but i didn't have the courage to go.I would could never go now and they have said they wouldn't want to carry on without me. Their situation is so awful sometimes its unbearable.