August 14, 2014 - 12:46pm
Dont know where to start, my gf and I were friends for 7 years before we started dating. we're in a long distance relationship that has been on the go for about 2 years. Four years ago she was diagnosed with AS. I knew what I was getting into when we started dating, but I also didn't know.. Not sure if that makes sense. I love this woman, care very deeply for her. The problem is that the illness is progressing and things are happening that I didnt think would happen. And dealing with these things is alot harder than I could have imagined. Watching her deteriorate has not been easy. It hurts like hell to see the woman i love turn into someone that I dont know.
She is on a number of very strong narcotic medications for the pain and other things, I'm worried that this is affecting her mind because she seems to be creating arguments alot now days.
I've been thinking that its time to leave her, but I feel terrible and guilty for even just thinking it! i worry that it would make the illness worse, because stress triggers the seizures.
The other night we had a HUGE fallout because i didn't answer the phone and missed her call and she wanted to break up with me. She told me that she was emptying her meds into a big bowl so that she could take them all.
I was so scared that she would take them that i said whatever i had to so that she would get rid of them.
Very confused. Slightly traumatized. Feeling trapped.