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Anyone Afraid They Are Old???? Approaching 49...HELP!! Join this Group

Anyone Afraid They are Old????

By September 18, 2010 - 10:05pm

I've crested 50 now and I sometimes awake at night, afraid of not "getting everything done" before I get old, of my life not mattering to many. We can't change the number of revolutions around the sun we've gone, but we can make them more meaningful--be more present with those we love, be of service to others. I often TRY these, but of course, fail quite often. Don't be afraid, be emboldened to do better!

By January 23, 2012 - 8:31am


Menopause is a very personal issue to alot of people and many of us have different symptoms. When I started to have signs I immediately marched into my doctor and told her I needed hormones. She's a very agreeable person and prescribed some for me. Three weeks later my breasts hurt so bad I could hardly wear a bra. Ah.....one of the side effects of hormones. Then....I developed acne. It was great....walking around with sore boobs and zits! I threw the hormone pills away. I have fans at my office, in my bedroom, by the couch to breeze away the nasty hot flashes. When it was non stop hot flashes I purchased some estrogen cream that I'd rub on my wrists in the mornings and it helped a bit.
Otherwise I've gone thru it naturally. Mood swings. Crying spells. I've had several pity parties where I schlep around the house in my sweats with uncombed hair eating right out of a tub of tapioca pudding watching DVR'd episodes of Bridezillas. Then I'm okay when I compare myself to the Bridezillas. (LOL)
Take it a day at a time. Breathe deeply. Stretch. Lift weights. Pray. Meditate. Embrace life. Examine where you are now and where you came from. Laugh. If you have granchildren color with them. If you don't, go for a walk and listen to the sounds around you.

Every day is a gift. Accept it as such.

January 23, 2012 - 8:31am
By January 23, 2012 - 8:19am

Hello Susan Cody,

I feel the same as you and often wonder why people dread the aging process. Personally, I'm not looking forward to being dependent upon others to care for me when I'm well into my doteage, and do everything I can now to ensure my independence, but I also hope that when the day comes I will face it with grace and humor.

My heart goes out to Diva30 and the situation she finds herself in. I can only hint at what I'd have said to Mr. Lewis after my hystie if he'd have given any indication things were not as they used to be or as he liked.

Life, marriage, work.....all are what a person makes of them. I always try to have fun at everything. Diva.....don't let your husband criticize or diminish you in any way. If he does you'll have to decide if your life is better with or without him. No one needs someone second guessing them every step of the way. You did what you did for your health and quality of life. And that's that.

Have a wonderful day and be happy. Be your best. Do your best.

January 23, 2012 - 8:19am
By HERWriter Guide January 22, 2012 - 11:09am

Hi MrsLewis

Thanks for such an inspiring post! I wish more people felt like you!

I think we do ourselves such a disservice by calling ourselves old at the ages of 30 and 40 etc. The notion of being old shouldn't be ugly although it certainly has it's hardships. Let's face it - the glories of youth are quite glorious!

But old age is something we MUST strive for (considering the alternative) and women need to find a deeper understanding of that and stop being so shallow. That's sounds harsh but it's true. We just have to get over this obsession with thinking that everything good is for the under 40 crowd only.

I love what you have said, please don't be a stranger to this Group, we really need beautiful women like you here!


January 22, 2012 - 11:09am
By January 22, 2012 - 8:10am

Hello Ladies,

I am rapidly approaching 60. Had a hysterectomy when I was 35, kept my ovaries and went thru natural menopause but without the menstrual mess between the hystie and the 'pause. I've never felt 'old'. The mirror tells me otherwise but my eyes tell my real age....about 32. I feel wonderful even tho I am full of aches and pains, regrets and misgivings. That's what life is. Life is an eternal and ongoing lesson in improvement. I wish I had a way to show all of you that aging is a wonderful and very natural thing. Own your age but don't necessarily act it.
I would never go back to my younger years of uncertainty, insecurity, easy embarassment or feelings of inadequacy. I'm more confident, strong and self assured than I've ever been and I have my age to thank for it.
Love yourselves and love your age.

January 22, 2012 - 8:10am
By HERWriter Guide December 2, 2011 - 5:17pm

Oh dear Diva

He couldn't feel the lip (or tip?) of your cervix? I'm glad because if he did he may have given you what's known as a "cervical poke" and you would NOT like that!

I don't know of any man who feels sex isn't the same due to not feeling the cervix. I don't know if he's being a jerk but that doesn't make sense (is he a gynecologist? Most men can't tell the difference between a vagina and a firm set of thighs! - ok, maybe that's a (slight) exaggeration!). I think he might be making that up and/or read it somewhere.


December 2, 2011 - 5:17pm
By November 27, 2011 - 4:36pm

Susan, He just dont get it. We had sex for the first time since my surgery and it was like being 16 again I was scared. He was careful and apparently he claimed he could not go in all the way (could've fooled me) anyway he then said if felt differen cause he couldn't feel the lip of my cervix. Is that even possible and how would he know what it felt like anyway. I laughed and he said no it was true, so is he just being a jerk or is that possible.

November 27, 2011 - 4:36pm
By HERWriter Guide November 18, 2011 - 11:42am


I'm glad you have such a positive attitude toward your life, that will help you tremendously!

I'm sorry your husband is not supportive! Does he just not "get it" or has he always been that way?


November 18, 2011 - 11:42am
By November 15, 2011 - 5:14pm

Im fine and no my husband is not very supportive, which is difficult. My job is very stressful and demanding at times, I have a love hate relationship with my job. I think that both of these things make me feel old. I am glad I had the surgery I feel it is going to improve the quality of my life at this point. I am looking forward to getting back to 100%

November 15, 2011 - 5:14pm
By HERWriter Guide November 13, 2011 - 11:15am

Hi Diva30

Thanks for your post - keeping your ovaries is a good thing!

Is your husband generally support of you; in life, with your work, etc? Why don't you want to go back to work - is your job very unfulfilling? I know that can make anyone dread heading back but if you had a job you loved, that would make all the difference.

It has been a few days since we talked, how are you feeling today?


November 13, 2011 - 11:15am
By November 9, 2011 - 3:15pm

I did get to keep my ovaries, which I was glad about. I am feeling better and unfortunately will be going back to work. Today for some reason I felt really depressed about the whole thing. I am not to concerned about sex as much as my husband . He also told me that my short term memory has gotten worse since I had it done. He read thats a side effect. I think I will use that and just say I forgot how to have sex!

November 9, 2011 - 3:15pm

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