Facebook Pixel

Chronic illnesses /daily life with them Join this Group

quality of life

By October 28, 2011 - 2:58pm

I have suffered with a chronic illness for 13 years. How do we achieve quality of life when we are robbed of so much?

By November 3, 2012 - 7:22am

I don't know what happened to the reply I just submitted, but I can't rewrite it now. Kali, we haven't talked in a long time. I do hope you are doing better than I am. I am totally falling apart emotionally because of my roommate, taking care of her and letting my own dozen chronic illnesses go uncared for. I just don't have to time or energy to care for both of us. She is worse off than me so I care for her. She is very suicidal and I'm getting that way. I just can't handle all of this anymore. I don't sleep. I don't eat right. It just doesn't matter anymore. My psychiatrist put me on a second antidepressant but they don't help. He knows they don't but he wants to give them more time. My depression was never situational, it is chemical, but now has become situational. I think they are treated differently, I don't know. I talk to my social worker on Monday if I make it that far. I'll go, just to get out of here for a few hours. Trouble is I have to come back. It was such a tough decision to make the move down here...it was the wrong one. But I can't abandon her now, that she is slowly dying. Thanks for listening. How are you? What's happening in your life? Talk with you soon. bbnrse

November 3, 2012 - 7:22am
By November 2, 2012 - 7:31pm

people who are active and not sick often...can be horrible to live with..i agree! or that has also been my experience.
We also tend to take out things on those we love...which is not right. You might try talking to her when she is in good mood or better on and see what is exactly bothering her.
Housebound can drive people crazy so could be as easy as just get her out for a meal or movie...but communicating is best way to find out.

November 2, 2012 - 7:31pm
By November 2, 2012 - 7:27pm

I think that you might be in place like me...where you are not getting the best health care that you need. Most if not all, chronic illness are like being diabetic. So for the most part we should be able to have good days where we can do things like healthy people.
If you are constantly ill...maybe you are isolated too much and like i previously said your doctors are not helping like they should be. I be lucky that in my past i had great doctors who really tried to keep me as healthy as possible. Now...i do not and huge difference in my health and problems...stem out in emotional problems with my family etc.
So think if you can...get to different doctor..maybe if support group is near you ask around. you might need to do like me and go some place where you need to spend night because it is so far from home. I just do not have any doctors who specialize in this area but 2...and they are bad...main one will not even let me try and see if his new associate is better than he was with me. He was so bad..and now knows he messed up bad that he worried i am going to sue him....which i had not even thought of till i was told why he would not see me from his staff.
So i hope you get some help...so you can feel better.

November 2, 2012 - 7:27pm
By May 13, 2012 - 12:17pm

Susan, I don't mean to stay away but sometimes life, good and bad gets in the way of living the way we really want to. My roommate is in so much pain with her broken arm. She took a very bad fall on Easter Sunday and fractured her humerus in 9 places and dislocated her shoulder. I think the pain and disability is getting the best of her because she has been biting my head off lately. So angry and other than what I mentioned I don't know why. I try not to take it personally but today has been a very sad and depressing day for me and she has yelled at me twice for no reason. I just want to hide under the covers and say yuck to the world and everyone in it. But then, I get a SKYPE message from a dear friend and she cheered me up so much. I think I can make it. I just don't like walking on egg shells. I have been having trouble breathing and singing in church without getting so SOB and tired that I took my oxygen to church today, and oh, it was so much better. I sang all the way through the praise part of the service. It really has made a difference. She yells at me for using that too. Oh well, I am over that. No more talking about hurt feelings. Today is just a very hard day to deal with negativity. Thanks for being there and I'll do better at staying in touch. Now, I'll lie down awhile, cry a little, and get up and help Georgia with her dolls. bbnrse

May 13, 2012 - 12:17pm
By HERWriter Guide May 13, 2012 - 10:50am

Hi again!

Keep trying; I know it can be hard when the calls are not returned or the letters remain unanswered but do your best.

I am glad that you have found support (with your beliefs and spirituality). I could not agree with you more, that the power of words is incredible - they can do so much good AND so much harm.

I hope you have a good day today and you continue to do you best and live life as best you can.


May 13, 2012 - 10:50am
By May 7, 2012 - 10:34am

Susan, I have tried to repair our relationship. I sought her reasons for the way she feels, but she won't admit to any of my suggestions. I really think it has to do with her choice of lifestyle, because she knows how I feel about it, being a strong Christian woman. I do not judge her and have repeatedly told her it didn't matter to me. It was her choice and I love her unconditionally. She is my daughter. I love her dearly and never speak against her. I admit I do not write as often as I should and that is my fault. She rarely answers, but I do write occasionally. I will make every effort to write to her more. Calling is almost out of the question. She very rarely answers. But I'll try more. You are right about the abuse...there was every kind of abuse there is and it went on from age 2 -30+. The worst was over by age 20. But that is past history, and I try to live my life as if today is the first day of it. It is the only way I can cope. Or to try to ignore it all and live as best as I can. At church yesterday the pastor spoke on the power of our words! Perfect topic for me!! No one knows the power of words more than I do!!! They HURT!! I guess there are loving ones too, it's just that I haven't heard very many of them in my life. Life is not all bad. I find good things in it. I do look and I do find them. God is good and everything He created is good, Thank you for listening and offering support. I need it, and I truly and deeply appreciate it. bbnrse

May 7, 2012 - 10:34am
By HERWriter Guide May 6, 2012 - 3:45pm


Some people have it a lot harder in life and you sound like one of those people. Being raised badly - having a rotten childhood and being abused (there are so many forms and what you have spoken about sounds like a huge amount of verbal and psychological abuse and I'm sure there has been more going on) can make a person completely unprepared for adult life. If you never had a decent foundation from childhood, it's really hard to form one on your own as an adult. The effects of abuse don't end at the age of 18.

I assume you don't have a relationship with your daughter? Can you change this?


May 6, 2012 - 3:45pm
By April 30, 2012 - 5:22pm

Chronic illness can be tough! Be patient with yourself and prioritize your daily projects and energy! Also, don't hesitate to ask for health advice/tips from real doctors on how to manage these diseases: https://www.healthtap.com/tips/4245-chronic-illness-can-be-tough-be-patient-with-yourself-and-prioritize-your-daily-projects-and-energy

Good luck!!

April 30, 2012 - 5:22pm
By April 30, 2012 - 9:56am

Dear Susan,
I have no one to turn to for support. No family and no true friends I can feel secure sharing with. I do have a friend online that I talk to but no one close by that I can share with face to face. When I think about it, I just sit here and cry. I have been alone all my life. There has never been anyone there for ME. I give and I give, and I love the role of caregiver, but boy it would be nice to have someone to lean on that really cares about me. I feel so undeserving and unlovable, because I was brought up to believe I was as worthless as dirt and would never do anything worthwhile. Well, I proved them wrong, I went to school and became and RN and worked hard for almost 30 years. I never felt I did a good job, however, because of the nagging belief that I was worthless and unlovable. I also, after being asked to retire because of frequent psych. admissions, went back to school and graduated Magnum Cum Laude with a Paralegal Degree at age 54. I never had the confidence to work in the field, because I could not find a job at a hospital in risk management like I really wanted. I could not work for a lawyer. Too much negativity on my part, or lack of self-assurance. I've been beaten down most of my life and failed at the most impt. things in my life. My marriage, raising my daughter, life. I have no one who cares at all about me, except for online chats with friends. But no one face to face. I attend church weekly or more to give myself an opportunity to meet people but after many many years no close friendships have developed. Ones that have lasted or got past the pleasantries. I'm sorry to rattle on so. I am depressed and upset with my life and dealing daily with 13 or more chronic issues of my own and caring full time for my roommate and the apt. I am just so tired of living like this. There is very little quality to my existence and I see no reason to continue with the exception of all my obligations to others and caring for them. I love it, don't get me wrong, but I am so tired. Thanks for listening and caring. bbnrse

April 30, 2012 - 9:56am
By HERWriter Guide April 28, 2012 - 3:18pm

hi bbnrse

Please vent! We are here for support and a shoulder to cry on, as well as guiding our members to medical resources.

You sound like you're burning the candles at both ends and the caregiver needs a some care herself. Thank you for being such a wonderful room-mate and friend to your friend.

I'm glad you are getting a new mask. My husband has gone through so many due to leakages. And it's exhausting; no wonder your depression is worse with such fatigue and stress.

bbnrse, what support system do YOU have? Do you have family and friends that you can lean on or someone who can be there for you, rather than everyone turning to you? We hope to hear back from you soon!


April 28, 2012 - 3:18pm

Group Leader

Related Topics


Ideas that we can share as whole how to cope with daily living with chronic illnesses. Tips, support, how to make housework, life easier, how to deal with children, spouses, friends who do not understand what it is like...just a support group that will help make living with chronic illnesses easier.


This Group is Open to all EmpowHER.com members