I have constant pain which has become unbearable.
Just to type is so bad for my back. I have become overwhelmed in trying to sell my home that I took it off the market. I am living by myself, and the lonliness is crushing me. I want to move close to the one child who will return my calls, but loose my health plan if I do. I have found seniors residences that will take me even tho' I'm only 54
I have fractured vertebrae in my neck, mid, and lower back, Complex Regional Pain Syndrome, Arthritis, Fibromyalgia, Reflux Gastritis, and as you can well imagine, I am dealing with Depression. I have a doctor who gives me pain meds and antidepressants; but it's at the point that it's not enough. I end up constantly cutting down my meds, trying to detox and fight the weight gain which comes with the meds. Few people know what I am going through, and they don;t understand. Pain is extremely limiting. I can't get out to socialize, and the friends and family get tired of hearing how I am so I have no one to talk to. I've only got two friends who drop in a couple tmes a year
Thanks so much Fran and Sam for so the gift of so clearly understanding exactly how I am feeling. It's such a freeing sensation to know there is another person who truly "gets it". I hope you both have a deep, relaxing sleep and dream sweet, precious dreams of pain-free motion, and peaceful thoughts unfettered by the fatigue. May I offer you a gift to give yourself? The gift of a progressive relaxation technique before you drift off to sleep...begin by curling your toes as tight as you can...hold them tight breathing in and out slowly for a count of five, relax and notice the warmth rushing in to your toes, now tighten your calf muscles....breathing in and out slowly with your count of five...and relax...etc.
So you've probably been taught this one, or can get a copy of one from the library or a pain support group. I find I fall asleep relaxed this way. I often get so stressed I forget to do it when I really need it, though.
Suze
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I can totally understand your pain. I've been living in pain for most of my life! I have scleroderma, fibromyliga, also RSD that was caused by my sclero. I now have something else thats affecting my lower back and both of my legs, and i thought the pain that i have endeared was enough, guess i was wrong. I can't do any of my hobbies, i feel so helpless right now and i hate so much!! Most recently this pain has worn me out physically and mentally and thats what i hate the most!! I so use to doing so much around the house and now i can barely get stuff done b/c of this damn pain!!
I'm here for you!!!
Sam
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I completely understand and appericiate your candor the amasing thing though is despite it all we endure,We persevere.I am not exactly sure what I have as the diagnosis varied by the doctors whim but have been suffering pain syndrome for to very long in my life from teens to menapose and It is isolating . My daughter lives 5 minutes away and I could be on the floor for days unless she needs something and then the phone does not stop ringing.And the doctors give contridiction as treatment, Really who wouldnt feel depressed when everyday of thier life they wake up feeling like the did a marathon yard work day,just getting out of bed and by the time you get coffee and read the mail your done for. And pain meds hah sometimes they are worse than the pain itself from the side effects,It is so bad that somedays I have pain induced mood swings. So besides the same as you with family and friends not wanting to here same old same old, I isolate because I am fearful at moments that the pain swings will have me lashing out and saying bitter words to people only because I hurt so bad I find it hard to censer myself and damn it You will know pain too.I live most of my life simply overwhelmed,but endure I would be proud to call you friend and also understand that It may take days to respond as yes Computer usage is utterly painful even proped up in bed it still causes pain, fran
April 30, 2011 - 11:04pm
Hi friends and Suze your welcome I would have sent a hello sooner . but have been in pain and did not feel up to computer time .
May 18, 2011 - 10:05amThis Comment