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I was raped by my ex husband

By October 6, 2012 - 4:08am

My ex husband and I split up over 3 years ago (I broke it off with him). He threatened that If I took my daughter he'd hunt me down and kill me. He took me daughter 2500 miles away from me to live with his parents. I would make trips when I could to see her BUT as a stipulation to my visiting my child, I was required to have sex with him whenever he wished. Usually on two occasions per trip he would call me and tell me that "we needed to talk". That was code for " we are going to a motel and you are going to have sex with me". It wasn't generic sex either. It was rough, hateful, sex where he'd slap my face and tell me to call myself a whore. It was horrible, but he told me if I refused, he would take my daughter and I'd never see her again. At the time, I was unsure if this was rape. It felt like rape, if feeling violated, humiliated, mixed with indescribable hurt and anger while someone is having sex with you who KNOWS that you do not want to be there let alone be having sex with them. He would tell me things like it turned him on knowing that he was pretty much forcing me to have sex with him.....it disgusts me. I had nightmares at least once a week for 2 years. Its not as much now. 2 years after the last incident and only just found out for certain that this was rape. And I am only just now starting the legal process. I don't think the law enforcement are taking me seriously though. I was told weeks ago that someone would be calling me. I have yet to hear from them. I feel lost

By HERWriter Guide October 8, 2012 - 4:47pm

Hi itsjustme

PLEASE present yourself at a police station immediately and file charges. Get a restraining order. Your husband has no legal right to kidnap (out of state) your child without your consent.

You need legal help - find "legal aid" in your town (a simple google search) and contact a rape crisis center at RAINN here: http://www.rainn.org/

Please start moving on this straight away. You need counselling and legal aid both to file charges against him for possible rape (I can't give legal aid) and for kidnapping. You're not alone. Too many women have been raped, beaten and have their children taken away because they've been convinced they cannot fight against powerful men. Bullshit. Please contact legal aid straight away and keep up posted.


October 8, 2012 - 4:47pm
EmpowHER Guest
By Anonymous October 7, 2012 - 6:30am

Hi itsjustme,

Welcome to EmpowHER.  Sorry to hear this, thanks for sharing your story.  Am sure here you will find lots of answers and support from others with the same problem.



October 7, 2012 - 6:30am

Group Leader


When sexual abuse occurs within marriage or partnership, the victim will often feel very confused as to whether or not she /he has been actually been 'raped'. This group is for "us". Those who have had the most sacred trust shattered by the one who was supposed to love us most of all.


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